Tag Archives: self responsibility

Writing as Self Support – My Fingers have a mind of their Own.

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Ok, I am going to pick up on a point that I came across while writing last night which was the point of directing myself in relation to energy from the perspective of “energy” and “experience” of self, being the starting point of self movement. For some context Here is a quote by Bernard Poolman: “your real life on earth move by actual breath as time --from the first breath to the last breath - and breath determines the effectiveness of living on earth. The less you are aware of breathing, the more you will live in a system world where life is not honored and things like money will drive you. The more you live by breathing as timekeeper, the more you will notice the kazillions of nonhuman beings on earth.” So with regards to the point I mentioned above, this quote by Bernard Poolman offers a context for how one “should” direct and move self – That being rather by/within breath instead of as/within the mind as energy. Basically what I was looking at last night was that how there always seemed to be a kind of “anxiety” within myself that pushes me in this direction or that. Within this I found I was much less effective in what I was doing due to what I was doing being subject to this anxiety/energy/experience of myself that constantly push me and influence my moment to moment expression as living application. This point actually showed itself this morning as well as I sat down in front of the computer to write. I was simply sitting down to write as a point of self support. To just direct myself to write as a way to support me to start being able to see myself and become more aware of myself where in writing is a tool to develop self awareness and also self stability. Self stability from the perspective of supporting myself to slow down within and as myself and not spend all my time existing in the mind or in some experience of myself that is influencing me where I end up feeling like I am just along for the ride with no directive principle at all, with no ability to be deliberate and specific and directive within my expression what ever I might be doing, because there is this kind of force pushing/forcing me along and in this I end up skipping over things and rushing things and not being as specific and deliberate as I could and thus within a greater context end up creating and manifesting my world from the starting point of skipping over things, rushing and not being specific – thus this has implications that flow out into the very creation of my life/world/ as my immediate surroundings as well as the world as a whole – lol...Ok getting back to the point. Today as I sat down to write, I shot “out of the gates” like a race horse blasting towards the finish line. My fingers hardly keeping up. It wasn’t long before I lost track of what I was writing and everything became like one long drone or run on sentence where I experienced me as not really supporting myself in the writing anymore due to this point of feeling a bit “out of control” like my fingers and what I was writing had a mind of its own. So this is showing me that how I am more existing in mind in my world and that when I go to write, the mind attempt to assert itself as the governing principle of me – though what I have found is that the tool of writing supports in stabilization of self in by supporting the slowing down of self even though initially “out of the gates” or in other situations the mind attempt to position itself as the dominant directive principle, so yes, it will not be an automatic correction but like anything I see simply requires consistent application for effective support. This reminds me of a conversation I had with Bernard while I was in South Africa. This conversation was quite long, somewhere between 1 and 2 hours. During the discussion one of the points that was mentioned was how when I speak it’s like within myself my mind races way ahead and I end up trying to keep up with mind and in this my communication is not effective. I always enjoy seeing people who are very stable in their communication where they are “Here” within each breath as each word they speak and their mind is not just racing a mile a minute inside themselves going all different directions, but rather it is like they are stable and here and silent. In this their communication is much more effective and stable. So in essence this morning I see the point was “my mind” racing a mile a minute, and instead of stopping and slowing myself down, I ended up initially getting caught up with trying to chase down my mind or keep up with mind as it just races all over the place. For me that is one of the points in using writing as a tool to support me – The point being to assist and support myself to slow down and stabilize myself within me. So I am not constantly running around in my mind. And so in writing I can take the opportunity to slow myself and make sure I am not running/chasing after the mind but that I am here and specific and directive in the placement of my words. So will see how this develops – it has been a point that I have been working with since I started process – which is cool in itself because before process I had never even herd a practical description of this experience that was happening inside myself to be able to support me to even know where to begin to correct the point and become more effective in my communication and writing – So yes, the point I work with is stopping the mind/energy and rather writing from the perspective of being here as Breath. To reference again, this time a segment of the above quote by Bernard Poolman: “The less you are aware of breathing, the more you will live in a system world where life is not honored and things like money will drive you.” So when I started writing this morning I was not aware of my breathing and ended up being directed by the “system world” where I am “driven” by points other than Self.  Which is what I started this document off by writing about – This point I came across last night which was how I was seeing that I always seem to directed or influenced or moving myself in relation to some energy or experience of myself and rarely am I simply here directing myself within and as breath as a point of Self Direction – Self direction does not require energy or experience or some kind of anxiety to push self to move, but is rather Self moving, directing self as a Self Expression. So I can just continue to support myself through writing and developing the point of slowing down and also identifying such moments when I end up “trapped” within my mind, within the system world and being directed by this where there is like this kind of energy pushing and influencing me like pushing me through something instead of me just walking through a point breath by breath with no urge or pressure experience within myself to quickly get to the finish line.   Links: 2012 - New 21 Day Breathing Challenge - Interview done on utilizing breath as practical self support Desteni I Process - Self Development and Leadership Course Desteni.org   Support Products and Merchandise available now at the EQAFE.COM   Freedom Blogs  - Read Blogs by many destonians who have dedicated themselves to practical self support through writing regularly on various differen       No 1. Beginners - Thoughts, Writings, and Self Forgiveness - Covering here the basic points that self will face as one’s Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious Mind in initially starting walking one’s process of facing the Mind as self      

The longer we wait, The longer It Takes. How Long Will it Take To Change The World

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The system / the world I live in is all around me. It is the way it is because it is exactly what we have created, either deliberately/ in awareness  or through implication / unawareness. At times I get frustrated with the System / This world and how I must interact with it in what I have to/must do to survive in it. Nothing will ever change unless deliberate physical actions/direction is given/taken by ourselves to change the system. Every moment we do nothing is simply prolonging the moment when we are Free because we have created a system / world that is actually best for us / what we would like. How long will it actually take to transform this system we live in completely and absolutely so that it support and honour all life and self expression. So that it actually support our functionality and existence within such a system, so that we are not “fighting” or “Struggling” with the system where it makes our lives more difficult. A System that makes our lives more difficult shows a lack of intelligence. How long will it actually take to re-create the entire world/system from the perspective of changing/transforming that which is “man-made” into a structure that function in such a way that it allows us to actually do what we all common sensically would like to do with ourselves in our life on earth. That is simply enjoy ourselves here, have fun.  Explore, Expand, Investigate ourselves and the world we live in, Being Free to simply be Here. Take a look at so many individuals in this world living their life, working their job, earning their money. What does their life consist of? When/Where are they taking part in bringing forth a New System That will actually support us on this earth or have they accepted the current system and simply have created Their Life and are now set/locked into their “Life”...Working their job, going on holiday, buying products, buying a house, setting themselves up in the current system so that they can functionally exist until they Die. So many simply live in this system, and have no idea how it is created or how they contribute to this creation. They have simply accepted the general layout and structure of things and attempt to make it work for them the best they can. I see that nothing will ever change if we as individuals do nothing to change it. I would suggest to have a look at your expression/ participation in your day to day living, and ask yourself “where are you going with this” ask yourself “what will this lead to” What are we doing here. What is the point of existing – To exist within a closed cycle within the current system until we are dead? Are we happy with how the System Currently Function? Happy with millions of people starving to death Happy with slave labour Happy with working a job we don’t even like because its “all that’s available” Happy to have “the weekend”  2 days a week where we are  apparently “free” from our lives/responsibilities. Happy to always struggle with, fight with and fear money. Happy to give up our hobbies and what we really enjoy doing as self expression because we must dedicate more time “making money” Happy to live in a world which we are constantly trying to escape. That is the current life that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live. Lets Rather Create a World that we do not want to escape from = Common Sense. But are grateful and appreciative to exist within. A world where We want to be Here. The longer we wait, The longer we wait. Every moment is a moment to take physical practical direction in bringing forth a new world, a new system.   For more information with regards to understanding how to Re-Create Yourself please visit the Desteni Website desteni.co.za   Desteni also offer a comprehensive course which practically assist one to begin the process of self creation/transformation where one will discover/learn/ become aware of how one actually “create” themselves and this world, thus providing a practical foundation for one to be able to in fact support the creation of a World and a Self that is Best for ALL. Desteniiprocess.com One is also able to Support the Emergence of a New System based on the principle of “What is Best For ALL” by purchasing exclusive products such as Books, Interviews, Music available at the Equality Store. http://store.desteni.org/  Featured Products at Equality Store

Self Forgiveness on “The Soul”

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  Self Forgiveness on Soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there existed a soul within me that pass over and continue existing when I die. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “not know” if there was a soul within me or not. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my soul is more pure than me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there can be an aspect of myself that Is more pure existing independent from other aspects of myself, and in this way separate myself from the soul, where in I exist in separation to the soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an aspect of myself to exist independent from me, where in it just kind of does its own thing, and within I do not direct all of myself here, and am also implying a lack of awareness of self in that there is apparently as aspect of me that is all knowing and pure, that I have not actual direct, in fact relationship with at all, but that only exist as an idea in my mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my soul is better and superior than me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a soul because this would mean that I live forever and that is what I want. I don’t want to die because I fear dying and I like being alive, and I don’t want to die. And thus hoped that there was soul, and within this actually separated myself from my responsibility to decide for myself if I live or die, but have believed that I have no choice in the matter, as Death is “beyond me” and all-mighty. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place death and the soul in the same category, where in I see the soul as good and death as black and scary. Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my idea/perception of what I think death is, where I have created this whole idea of what I think death will be like, and then fear that Idea. And thus am not really fearing death, per-se but more fearing an idea that I have created within myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the soul and things related to the existence of the soul as “higher than me” and within this imply that I am limited and less than, here within this physical body within this life, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand within and as limitation which I imposed on myself through accepting and allowing this idea of the soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the human physical body as well as this physical world as planet earth as limited and not take into consideration ourselves as limitless beings where ever we are in every moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself to such an extent that I believed that I was unable to commune with the soul or anything that was from this realm, and thus existed within a state of limitation. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find it hard to believe that we are not limited as/within the human physical body here in the physical I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the soul as the ultimate good, and that in the end “man is good” because the soul is good. And to not really believe in the devil and the bad, because “that stuff can’t exist” because everyone has a soul, and a soul is good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get confused within all this information and ideas about the soul. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am automatically good, as I have accepted myself as having / being a soul, and have defined/believed this to be ultimately good, and within this I forgive myself for not considering that I AM WHO I AM, and thats that, in relation to the context of how I live in my day to day moment to moment application of self here as who I am in every moment where in “A soul is not responsible for me and who I am” I am responsible for me and who I am based on how I live and apply myself day to day, in every moment of my existence here, and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself as who I am into2 categories only, either being bad or good. Thus I stop such allowances and acceptances of self. I let go of this delusion that somehow “the sou” defines me, and I realize that who I am, is who I am based on my moment to moment application of self and all of myself as me. That is really who I am. And Thus I face the point that there is “no free pass” which I had accepted and allowed myself to exist within, within believing that there was a soul. There is not free pass, there is not “guiding light” I guide myself HERE in full responsibility for and as myself and I take responsibility for my actions and I realize that my actions have consequences and this is also another way to assess who I am in fact which is not related to something that does not even exist, but that I “hold as an idea only” as my saving grace and guiding light to always guide me out of the darkness, instead of taking back my directive principle and walking Here for and as Myself in and As Total Self Direction and Responsibility for and as Myself, as Who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design an idea that act as my “guiding light” of me never having to actually walk and live for myself, walking into the darkness and trusting myself every step of the way, alone with no guiding light, but only me myself Here with and as myself as self support. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to trust me without the soul guiding me to make sure I do not fall off the path, and thus whenever I walked into a situation, placed my trust in the soul as this ultimate guiding force, instead of standing HERE within and as Self Trust, and developing the ability to walk within and as Self Trust in every moment and every situation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wander endlessly in the dark while all this atrocious shit happens in this world, because I had completely abdicating my self directive principle of myself to some higher force/soul as a guiding light. Where in I placed my trust in this soul or higher force to know whats best for me, and thus I never actually grab the wheel and steer myself and direct myself for and as myself. Within this using practical common sense to sort out the mess that is here as this world and put an end to the abuse and atrocities in this world through simply by directing my actions within common sense instead of floating around where all of my directive power is placed within some higher being to decide for me, to make the right choices for me within my life, instead of me directing me here in every moment, decision and choice that I am faced with in each moment no matter how big or small. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wander within my mind/idea of the soul as my guiding light, and within this never actually learn how to direct this reality that is here as the physical into a world that supports all and is best for all and is an effective reality and supports life, because I was to busy wandering around within this point of just “doing stuff” because the soul as guiding light will take care of all the important decisions in my life, and thus MISS my entire life in where I never actually direct myself within the important decisions, or any decisions and this world crumble around us as we all blissfully stair into the light, and never actually starting directing ourselves within establishing the necessary relationships, real relationships based on practical common sense and supporting what is here as this planet we live in and taking full responsibility for this and stop abdicating this to some higher force or god or soul as guiding light in all of this, where the entire world just existing in disarray within the belief that we are beig guided and directed by something more than us, like an ultimate greater good, instead of all of us here pulling our heads from our assess and start creating our world for ourselves in a way that no longer accepted and allow abuse and that actually support ourselves as life within and as our self expression. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “dream about the soul” where I would know all the answers and do everything correctly and never make a mistake, but not bringing this point back to self and walking the practical step by step application of actually developing the ability to make effective decisions for myself instead of just “wanting this to happen instantly” in terms of how I believed the soul to be. I forgive myself for not considering that if I am a soul than I will still have to direct myself as I do now in this life, and that “things never happen automatically” thus the point is that I simply must walk the necessary steps to become an effective decision maker so that “I know what to do” instead of thinking and believing that this will magically happen to me, without me taking responsibility for myself and leaning to walk and do this for myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within believing in the soul and soul construct become passive and non-committal and subdued, where in I am never really active, and engaged within my reality in every moment where I am an active participating within and as my world, due to abdicating this responsibility to the soul within accepting the idea that the soul essentially is guiding me and making my decisions anyways. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never really learn how to commit myself to a decision and follow through with that because at some point I would give up and not take responsibility for my world, because I believed the soul was taking care of this anyways and thus “it would turn out for the best” I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look to the soul for answers to my questions about life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because there is no consequence that I see/experience in a moment of actions, that this means its “ok” and within this not consider the consequences that flow-out from such actions and that will in the end create and define my world and who I am. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because I do not immediately see/experience a consequence related to my actions/self doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my “best interest” to a higher power, instead of directing this as who I am in every breath as every moment of my existence. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self direction as hopeless I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within realizing that I must move and direct myself, actually go into a point/experience of fear of actually willing myself to move and direct myself in all situations and events in this world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as powerless within this life because I could never get clear answers from the soul. And that I did not trust myself to direct myself in my life. I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as limited through by accepting and allowing myself to exist in separation from life where in I saw/see/perceive life to be “so much bigger” than me and how could I be equal with/as life in order to make decisions that affected life. And thus I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see me as inferior to life, and inadequate in relation to life, always placing myself beneath life and never actually able or capable of standing equal and one with life, and directing myself as life and directing life as myself equal and one. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would fuck life up if I had the responsibility to direct life, and thus never saw myself as capable of having the responsibility to direct “the greater life” that is here, not realizing that I am in fact doing this already in every moment that I am here, in my moment to moment living application of self. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop the idea within myself that “man is useless” because everything that ever showed a high skill level was attributed to “the divine” and so accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only way to “become better” was to have god or the divine possess me and express through me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that really good art was done by the hand of god, which implied that the “soul” was the ultimate creator/expressor and had some magical meaning or insight and that man is really not capable of this, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “look for the divine” as a point of self improvement instead of developing the trust, courage and will power to do this for myself through discipline practical step by step walking. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself so that the soul can exist where in I no longer direct myself as who I am as an equal part of life, but suppress myself in relation to the idea that I soul is apparently directing me and within this wonder around this world with no real, clear, decisive direction of self in my application. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret not learning how to direct myself when I was younger. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there must be some mistake, and that the way that I lived and directed myself was correct, and that how could I have lived most of my life without actually Standing within and as myself and my world as the directive principle of me and my world. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in moments give up on my as the directive principle and want to rest. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping and resting as me as the directive principle because I fear the consequences of this, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am not able to actually see the consequences of my actions/self standing in every moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear “going out on my own” and directing myself within and as my world in every moment because I fear facing my world and all the various, variety of situations and events and people that are out there that I must face. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being an active participant within this world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my pre-programming to direct me and shape out my world and how I live, instead of establishing/re-establishing these patterns, the patterns that I have created and developed over time within and as myself, into patterns of support, effectiveness, participation, and patterns that support in bringing forth an effectively functional world equally for all who are here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to like the idea of the soul because then I don’t have to do the hard work and actually direct myself then use this “soul construct” as the perfect excuse to be lazy and not direct myself in situations moments that are challenging. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “when things get tough – abdicate my responsibility to something or someone else other than myself directing me here in every moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility to direct and move me here in every moment as Life to the idea of a soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say to myself “things will be ok” and within doing this, not actually directing each and every single aspect of my world effectively, clearly, and decisively but allowing myself to only direct some points half way or not at all, and then go into a state of hope which is actually delusion where I convince myself that the points will be “ok” instead of remaining here within the realization that I am responsible for ALL of myself and that what i do not give direction to, will simply no move or rather always only move in relation to the direction I give it. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spend my life seeking pleasure and things I enjoy doing and to leave the rest of the responsibilities of this world to something or someone else. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the soul would take care of all the bigger responsibilities, and thus never considered or gave these points specific definitive direction, and rather just spent my life creating pleasure and joy for myself, while the world crumbles down all around me with me being completely oblivious to it. And thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand equal to life in all responsibilities of and as life. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to establish a relationship of separation where in I have separated myself from life and the soul where in I see these aspects as “beyond me” as “out there” and carry some magical mystical, ultra intelligent, all knowing force, and within this held a point inside myself of someday at some point in the future eventually “being there” and in this simply wait for this moment due to me having defined myself as incapable of understanding or comprehending this ultimate truth, and so just waited for this and lived out my life existing within and as a point of myself as limitation, and thus accepted and allowed a world and life that reflect this idea/belief. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to establish a relationship with some form of a soul/god/higher life purpose/principle, where I am in fact standing within and as a point of inferiority and that this “higher principle” is in a position of superiority, and in this separated myself from my absolute full directive principle of myself HERE where in I am always responsible for my reality and world and self in every way shape or form with my own two hands. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate me from me and in this actually diminish and dis-empower myself through by maintaining  a point within and as myself which believed that I do not have access to myself as the absolute and full creative principle in every moment due to believing that some higher force out there control some aspect or point of myself and thus within this never had stood up as the full complete directive principle of myself and my world IN EVERY WAY, and no more believing that there is some heaven or some existence out there that is wonderful and amazing that one day I will get to experience. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within thinking / imagining / pondering about other existences or worlds, or heavens existing “out-there” somewhere, that are wonderful and amazing and beyond me and beyond my imagination where I am a kind of god and magical important super being and within this ignore, and forget and disregard this reality that is HERE, and myself and my own world the creation of myself and world IN EVERY MOMENT as every breath. I forgive myself for not realizing that I am creating myself and world / reality as what is here in every moment of my existence as every breath, based within my acceptances and allowances of who I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as. And in this not realize the extend and absoluteness of myself as creative principle, and that I never stood as this creative principle as I was too busy abdicating this responsibility to some idea of the soul, or higher power or force out there somewhere. I let go of all desire to experience some “other reality” out the future, and simply remain here within and as breath and realize that if I would like to experience a particular point than I must walk that into creation practically within the physical step by step and actually create the point in this reality in and as the physical, and thus it is important to consider that this creation have no consequential outflow of abuse or harm towards life but act as a mechanism of life support as a common sense consideration of who I am as life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest, bring forth corruption on this planet through the acceptance and allowance of the soul construct within me and within others, where by “looking the other way” become a way of life and thus people begin to deceive with ease, as everyone just get so used to not taking responsibility for their actions as consequence that massive corruption take place that manifest a world of liying and cheating and stealing, and secrets, and basically attempting to live without taking responsibility for your actions . I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fully accept poverty and starvation within this world and that I have accepted and allowed myself to cultivate starvation and poverty within this world by and through believing in a soul, where in I abdicate my self directive principle and not ever take full responsibility for myself and my realty, and thus leave millions to die and suffer as everyone in this world do not take full responsibility for what is here, and in relation to this, develop the ability to “ignore the consequences of ones actions” and thus end up creating and manifesting such points of poverty and starvation where millions die of hunger, that seemingly is not related to what one is doing and how one live, but in fact is a result of this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is ok to take responsibility for myself some of the time and others its ok not to. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am unworthy because I have not been able to communicate with my soul which I perceive as worthy.

Exposing Deception Within the Words We Speak – “The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”

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“The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”   I am going to have a look at the above quote and open up some aspects of deception and manipulation contained within it. It is quite interesting to see how so much deception and also abuse can exist in the words we speak, particularly in “what is being implied” in what we are saying.   So the first point I noticed is the complete abdication of responsibility of Self As Creator. This phrase is initially separated into 2 distinct sections.  
  1. “The more I appreciate and show gratitude”
  2. “the more the Universe showers on me”
  Ok so what I see is that “the person”(who would speak/believe such a phrase) is essentially separating themselves from the universe, And placing the Universe in the position of God or some unseen, almighty, all powerful entity that is watching over us. Lol – Kind of like ones Parents do. Where if you are a good boy or girl as perceived through the eyes of the Parent (or Universe) then you get a reward.   What I find a common misconception with the point of Karma is that there is often a separation of cause and affect. Where many place Karma within the realms of Judgment, where that Judgment could possibly be anything, that that judgment is more “an interpretation” of the Judge like for instance, maybe you catch “God” on a good day and he lets you off easy.   The point not being taken into consideration is Self Responsibility Where in one take full absolute responsibility for themselves, their actions, and the consequences there of. And not abdicating this responsibility to some god, or the universe or anything other than self. This also implies a self accepted point of limitation because if one is not standing responsible for their actions and has no understanding of how their actions influence, affect, unfold, play-out into this world then they essentially have no creative principle as themselves within their world, where in if one were to Stand within Self Responsibility and Direct Self then one is able to Direct Self in ones moment to moment, day to day living application to ensure that what is created out of their expression is that which would cause no harm to another or themselves but rather play-out in a way that is Best for ALL, that takes into consideration all life equally and is directed towards the expansion of life in a supportive, dignified way, where we actually create a world where we do not have to exist in fear of one another. So in essence this statement suggests that the author has not yet taken Self Responsibility and began the process of discovery into how they are actually creating themselves and this world within and as every breath as every moment of their existence. Like a Driver of a vehicle that will push down on the acceleration but refuse to steer the wheel.   This point should actually be common knowledge and a point of education in the early development of children so we cultivate beings who are Truly bringing forth an expression of Life. So that All beings are equal participants and creators of/in what is here. taking into consideration every tiny iota of oneself and how ones expression in all aspects/faucets/nuances creates what is here.   getting back to the quote though…   “The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”   You  can see that the person is still existing as a Self accepted slave to the universe waiting for the Universe to deliver them with all that they want. As long as one is existing in separation instead of standing within and as Self Responsibility as Creator of Self and Self’s experience and world, one will always Exist in a state of hope, of waiting, of darkness actually because they never really know or or find out how “it all works” It would be much easier to simply “grab the wheel” and give yourself some Direction. No longer “waiting” for this to be, maybe, done for you that is if you show enough gratitude. No more waiting for the Universe to Decide your Fate. But rather taking this point into ones own hands and directing self in every moment to create for self a world that is supportive to self and others.   Another massive point of Deception in this statement is the author is not taking the practical side of reality into consideration nor looking at how this world actually “showers” abundance on individuals.   So A point I want to look at Here is the point of “The System”:, and the point of Creating Systems as a reflection of ourselves. Systems as that which is that which is actually manifesting the “good life” for some, and poverty and starvation and suffering for others. Because the point here is that the author of such a statement is definitely wanting the universe to shower some kind of abundance upon them but is not seeing how abundance is actually delivered in this world, and that the Universe does not deliver abundance, rather, it is the System(s) that we have created that does this. Particularly the Money Mystem.   For instance I could “pray” for money or show much much gratitude and hope the Universe delivers me the goods. Or I could simply play by the rules of the system, where in getting myself an education, and then high paying job to earn an effective income to then utilize the functionality of the system to produce abundance so to speak.   Also Gratefulness has really got nothing to do with it. This can be seen by the fact that those who really “have it all”, who really can do what ever they want and live a life that so many others can only  hope and dream about, are the ones who are simply at the top of the Money System and this does not mean that they show the most gratitude for life. Thus it is Money, not Gratitude that is actually the point which bring a life of abundance in terms of how this world is currently functioning. And furthermore  Money has got nothing to do with gratefulness as those who are really rich and living the life are in fact completely more likely to be completely ignorant of Life in fact, otherwise they would be directing themselves and their money towards a solution for all and supporting all beings equally where in this is NOT at all the case but rather they are just simply continuing to live the dream in deliberate ignorance of the millions upon millions of starving dying beings in this world, or those dying in unnecessary wars and acts of violence and abuse  and all the other wonderful outflows of our current system making possible an abundant lifestyle for those at the top, Lifestyles  that are NOT an indication/reflection of gratitude at all, but in most cases must actually deliberately abuse and harm life so that they are able to remain in their position of wealth and abudance. This, indicating to me rather a complete disregard for life.   Thus perhaps this statement should be revised a bit     “The more I deceive, disregard life, and place myself above all others, the more the Universe as the current  Money System showers on me.”   There that’s more realistic.   So basically the point being missed here in this original quote is that if one look practically how we have organized ourselves within this world, we have in fact done so through and as a system. And it is through this system that goods and resources and ultimately ones life is “delivered”. And that Money is the Keystone to this System, which one does not get by “being grateful” But rather by knowing how the rules of money work and thus applying those rules and generating money.   That is why we as Desteni are presenting an Equal Money System. An Equal Money System as an actual living expression of Gratefulness. Because at the moment I see a lack of gratefulness in this world, an immense lack of gratefulness indicated and reflected by and through the System we have put in place to manage ourselves on this planet within our lives. A system that as I have illustrated is not actually aligned with Gratefulness at all, but more with Greed, Ego, and disregard of Life.   Thus from my perspective a living application of Gratefulness is to Direct ones moment to moment daily living in such a way where ones actions and expression go into the correction of ourselves as the correction of the current system we have placed as our creation at the moment, that which is essentially providing for us “our lives” and so to  bring forth as our creation a  New System based on Equality, and Best for ALL which takes ALL life equally into consideration and does not have as part of its functionality such atrocious outflows such as war, as starvation, mass poverty, animal abuse as well as to “shower” money and riches  on those who in fact disregard life to the extreme.   Ooops. We really messed this current system up. Thus we correct ourselves and place a New System, a more effective system, a system based on the principle of “best for all” and “Equaliy and Oneness”   Thus investigate The Equal Money System as a Corrective System to replace the current capitalistic system.   www.equalmoney.org

Looking at some points related to Communication and Writing.

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Sometimes I experience a blank when I go to write. This has been occurring allot lately. I see that there is a point of self judgement where within judging what I am about to write actually keeps this “blankness” Here, as I judge what I am about to write or what I start writing and then might quickly erase it as I think to myself “no, no, no, thats not what I want to write about”. So I see this in fact a judgement which prevent me from actually moving from the starting line and exploring myself within writing. So rather I must support myself within moving through that which I am writing by not judging what I am writing or what is coming up in the moment. Because in some instances I will do this multiple times to the point where I eventually just close the document I am working on and do something else. So I will open a document and pause for a moment then say to myself in a way, “what shall I write about” Then a point, or sentence will come up within me and I will carry on to write this down but then get a few words in and pause and think, “nawww thats not good enough” and then I try and think of something else to write about. Then I will trap myself within this pattern instead of rather directing myself to just go with what comes up initially and not judge it. So today at work I was working with a co-worker and we were discussing different points related to the money system and human nature and just really touching on a few points and sharing perspectives. But I found myself to be quite frustrated in this because I find that I know actually so very little. Actually today I was pushing myself to speak up and assert myself a little more instead of holding back on giving my perspective, though it did not go that smoothly. I will continue to test this point out of expanding my communication through stepping outside of my normal programmed way of communicating and venture into some less explored waters where I will simply direct myself to speak where I normally would have kept quite. But after today this will require some adjustment already because in speaking up more I realized that “I don’t know shit” lol. Like I will start explaining something to someone and then realize as I start getting into the point “oh fuck, I actually don’t the necessary details to be able to explain the point. Like only having a surface idea of something but when it actually gets down to it my understanding is actually not at all sufficient on so many points that I believed that I had all sorted out. This made me realize that I must pay closer attention when I am reading an article so that when I go explaining a cool article to someone that I read just that same morning I don’t stop a few seconds in within the realization that, yes I read the article, but I do not remember shit about what it was actually about. It was like I wasn’t even reading it really, but only thought I was – LOL. Simply put – Pay more attention when I am reading and ensure that I have the comprehension of what is being presented in place so that if required I would be able to explain the main points of the article and give perspective on it. I asked myself today “what do I actually know” Because, ok, why not I just stick to communicating about stuff that I have a solid understanding about , and so I asked myself “what do I have a solid understanding about” and fuck – there is really not much. Particularly when it comes to certainties. Which is humbling. To see how much of my understanding and comprehension of reality is based on assumption. (ok one more point came up as I was writing my tags for this blog - It is the point of actually re-structuring my communication like for instance one must build the foundation for the house before they can build the house or put in the windows, and so today was like I was getting ahead of myself  instead of establishing building the necessary foundation / context for what I am communicating about.)  

My Experience Living and Working in the System

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I have been back living “in the System” now for about a year since I left the Desteni Farm. So I am going to talk a little bit about my experience over the last year and basically living and working in the system and earning money. My current job is Landscaping. This is where a crew of 5 of us design and build up yards for all the new houses of people (normally with allot of money) who have just purchased a house and now want a nice yard match. So often we are doing landscaping in some really rich neighbourhoods for people with allot of money. I have had 5 jobs over the last year I worked as a treeplanter, which was a job I did 4 years ago also. It is the hardest job I have ever done, and have found, so if you ever here of someone doing treeplanting, no that they have really toughed it out likely in some challenging situations. I worked on a Horse Ranch – I got this job through looking through listings and I applied to the listing. I quite after 2 months because the people running the ranch were not nice and would “vent” their own frustration out on who ever was around (me) Luckily I live in a Canada which means I do have a bit of choice when it comes to jobs and do not have to simply stand there and take other peoples abuse. The other guy that worked on the farm was an illegal immigrant from mexico, He has less choice and I am sure takes allot of shit from those people because he cannot just leave as easily as I was able to. I worked in a “high-end” furniture store where they sell expensive furniture to rich people. I put together the furniture and moved heavy things around and vacuumed the floors. I got paid over double minimum wage there and worked there for about 9 months about 4 or 5 days a month. I did Snow Removal in the winter. I did this on my own, and put out an add on the internet, and then people called me and I took care of their snow removal for the winter – This got me through the winter. Landscaping – I got this job by looking through listings online and applying by sending in my resume and cover letter. Then I went for an interview. This is the job I work at now. It will be over when the snow starts falling, so will have to find another job for the winter, so will see what comes up then. My experience living and working in the system has been...the word “stressful” comes up. One aspect of this is because I am basically on my own, and if I do not come up with money, it will not come from somewhere else. Although I do have some family members which if things get really tough I can ask for a loan. When winter ended this year, my van broke down. This was basically right when I started my new landscaping job so I had not yet started working many hours so not enough income to buy a new car. I asked my dad for a loan which he agreed, and I bought a cheap car to get me around while working and am busy paying him back. Oh yes this is due to having “bad credit” due to overdue Student Loan payments and thus could not get purchase a car on credit. So yes I have moved around a bit, in terms of jobs. The place where I live has been quite stable which is cool. I am grateful for this. I rent a room in a house and the people I live with are around my age and we get along fine. One thing I have noticed. Living in this world is ALL ABOUT MONEY. Its all about getting money. And then with money you make your life “better” And this is “THE GOAL” The Purpose to Life – What I complete fuck-up. In the System You can buy things and move around a with more ease if you have money. I have found this extensively. That Money is that which allows you to move and interact with the system. As soon as the money starts to run dry, it is very difficult to move, function and flow within the system, and you simply become an ineffective participant/member of society if you do not have money to allow you to move and from a certain perspective BREATHE within the system. That is what I have found. The more money I have, the more I am able to relax and breathe and enjoy myself. When there is no money everything just cramps up. Money is literally like Water, from the perspective of if you do not have water, your body just tense, and cramp up and dehydrate. It is the same with money. If you do not have it, you kind of tense up and contract. So working my landscaping job has been interesting because you see these men and women; mostly men walking around in their nice suits and business clothes and making likely hundreds of thousands of dollars annually.  Even millions. And they are driving the nice cars and making their yard look nice and basically living there life. And thats it. There is no consideration or awareness of anything else but this. “Thats what Life is” Everyone in the system completely accepts the system and from a certain perspective is completely fine with it. Everybody works for money. Nothing moves without money. We have really fucked this world up, where someone would rather stand around and do absolutely nothing as long as they are getting paid rather than do some activity which actually support them as a being. When I was on the Desteni Farm, I directed myself to support what was busy going on. When I built a shelf or prepared food, it was to “support” others. I was not doing this to get money, And thus my consideration/ starting point when I looked to see if there was anything to do, was “How Can I Support The Environment in the Best Way. Is there anything that requires to be done to make our living Experience more effective, and supportive.  I mean holy fuck. Imagine how many times a day I took on this consideration and now think about this actually then start to shape and form who that human being becomes as this point is practiced over and over – Then you have The Current System where what people practice over and over again, is not looking at the world or their environment to see what will best support that environment but rather “How can I make Money” and Thus, there you have it. This one way how our current system is really fucking up human beings where our entire beingness become certered and focused on MONEY and How to Make Money. I mean I would not want to be stuck on a Island with one of those beings, but rather with a being who is always looking for what will best support ALL and to make the environment a practical living space. This is why I support an Equal Money System. Because within an Equal Money System we will be able to bring the point of “what is best for all” into the foreground where human beings actually start to consider how to direct themselves in a way which support earth, and others and the actual practical living environment instead of only being able to look at the world through the filter of “how can I make money” which in a way blind a person from contributing anything of actual real value to this earth.    

Dream Revealing Where I have Separated Myself.

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Ok so I was just writing about a point which came up in a dream last night. This point has to do with how I have abdicated myself from certain aspects of myself and projected them onto/into agreement, where now what comes up is an experience of desire for, and yearning and wanting for an agreement or relationship, though within investigating and opening this point up for myself I see that what I am yearning for here is that “experience” that came up in the dream last night, though have separated from me within believing that this experience can only be had within an agreement and that I must get or find an agreement to fulfil me within my specific yearnings instead of actually “giving these points to myself” There was a moment in the dream last night where I embraced, hugged another being. Within this, I totally let go, and really sunk into the experience of the embracing, hugging. I experienced the point from the perspective of as if I have/had been traveling, walking a great distance and finally got to that moment where i could just let go, and stop, and relax and breathe. Like I had arrived. Finally, and I can just for a moment let go. It was sooooo nice. One aspect that has come up as I have wrote about this point is the aspect of how I have defined the point of relationship and agreement and what I have accepted and allowed me to believe about this. One element here has to do with an agreement/relationship making everything easier. Like its easier to have another being around. And also from the perspective of money where with an agreement/relationship, even this point of money and survival become easier to deal with. So from a certain perspective, the experience I had in the dream last night while embracing and hugging the other being had to do with feeling safe, and protected. Like a kind of hiding where I could, can for a moment forget about all the worlds problems, and even in a way, dump all my problems (abdicate my self responsibility) onto this being, and that they will make me feel better and make me safe and protect me and all this stuff. Fuck, actually allot of separation here. I see that the point is to reclaim my power within these aspects that I have abdicated to the point of agreement/relationship, and realize that this experience I had within the dream last night is an experience so to speak, that I can provide for myself alone, and that I can stop projecting these aspects outside self, but rather start to investigate how I can transform my experience of me within the expression / application of self to include these points which I have separated from myself.

We Require New Breed of Politicans and World Leaders.

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  I am continuing my investigation into the Canadian Political System, particularly the election process, as I follow the latest election that is underway here in Canada. Today I am going to take a look at a statement made by Liberal Party leader Micheal Ignatieff within his unveiling of what is called “The Learning Passport” which is a proposed program which gives extra funding to those enrolled and who will be enrolling in post secondary education. What I find to be quite interesting as I continue to follow the election is the “short-sightedness” of our political leaders and for that matter the people who are not only going along with this but also cheering their favourite candidate, no matter if what is being presented as ‘solutions’ is nothing more than an attempt to fix or make better our current system but that is in fact missing the point entirely of what is required to actually bring forth an actual permanent change to this world that will support in establishing a management system that support the betterment of man and the well being of all that is here. So to help illustrate this ‘shortsightedness’ that I have been observing within the debates, topics, discussions, policies, of the election thus far I will focus on a statement made by the Leader of the Liberal Party in his unveiling his educational program. I understand that it is not to blame politicians because from a certain perspective they are perhaps making the best out of what they had available to them such as education or family environment or the social system they were raised etc...Though at this point in time it is becoming clear that the world we have created is quite a mess, and we are going to require not just amendments to the current system but rather quite a drastic transformation of what is here in order to bring about a world that is actually dignified and ultimately valid in terms of considering the point of continuing our existence as a race. because I mean at this current rate, I am finding it difficult to justify at all why we are even Here on this planet if all we are going to do is abuse it and abuse ourselves,  and each other. So thus we need to drastically shift our political considerations, which from my perspective will take many years of re-education to effectively detangle from within ourselves the embedded belief systems/strucutres which our current politicians are at the moment acting within and that in fact only cause and create more harm and abuse and inequality within this world. So Liberal Party Leader Micheal Ignatieff stated within his unveiling of the “Learning Passport” that no Canadian should be “denied a world class education in the machine room of the Canadian economy” First of all he is referring to Universities and Colleges as “The Machine Room” which in itself is true to a certain extent as education within Canada has effectively become about preparing individuals to be able to perform very specific/specialized tasks so that when they finish University that they are able to walk out into the world and fill a very specific role within the already existent system. Essentially turning individuals into machines to function within the system. He also mentioned that these Universities are the “Machine room of the Canadian Economy”. Now this is quite a startling implication being made within this above statement by Micheal Ignatieff as within this statement has reduced education to being specifically for the “Canadian Economy”. I have a question. What happen to Life? What happen to Self Expression? Or has our entire Learning/Education process of this world become simply to prepare us to make Money within the system. Which is Exactly what is being implied within such statement as mentioned above, and what is even scarier is that this is being spoken of without him even batting an eye, meaning there is no awareness at all within the being what so ever that his/this ‘view’ of reality is not actually in alignment with actual real life in terms of a Life as that which can be considered in any way Dignified. Nope. Rather What is being implied in this statement that no Canadian should be “denied a world class education in the machine room of the Canadian economy” is that in essence all an education has become in this world is a machine room to create perfect money making machines to support the capitalistic system that we have in place. And let us not forget that this is also being considered to be “World Class” education as well. This is why I support what Desteni Propose as an Equal Money System, because the discussion within and around Desteni and the Equal Money System are more in line with looking at how to create and educational system that if fact support the development of the human being as Life Form in where we are essentially ultimately looking at perfection. The perfection of ourselves as an expression of Life. Not fucking limiting education to that which is designed to create the best money making robots as possible. Why are not political discussions and debates around the point of the perfection of self as Life and how to create a dignified world for all. I much rather participate with that which is aware of what life is actually and this is why I am one vote for an equal money system. Obviously this will take time to bring forth and in the end each one decide for themselves what discussions and debates they see as valid. So if you are interested in bringing forth a world that actually consider its fellow man enough to abolish a capitalistic world system based in greed and put into place a system which give to all equally where all within this system are able to live like millionaires and actually be honoured as life then suggest to check out what Desteni is saying and presenting with an Equal Money System. www.equalmoney.org www.desteni.co.za www.destniiprocess.com

Ultimate Excuse Exposed!!! – “Im too tired to Get Up”…Or Am I.

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Using the excuse that "I am too tired" so that I can sleep a little longer in the mornings is clearly a justification, and oh god I really sell this one too, like stretching and moaning and moving lethargic - "Oh just a few minutes longer" Oh Please. This is not valid because any morning I have to get up to go to work, I just get up, instantly, as soon as the alarm goes off - this proves that I in fact can "get over" tiredness by willing myself up, in one breath as I do it every morning when I work - thus, "I am too tired" is not actually real. I just make it. No matter how tired I am in the mornings when I work, or have something "time sensitive" that requires direction, I get up. proving I am in fact able to get up even though it may "seem like" I am really tired.

Self Honesty and Self Awareness in DREAMS

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I woke up at 7am...mmm nope it was 8am. I woke up from a dream which kind of ‘startled’ me awake. Quite interesting to consider the point of Self Honesty in dreams and eventually at some point one will have to be Self Honest and Self Aware both awake and asleep. I see this where in one is actually directive if a dream come up and they are able to make Self Honest Decisions within the dream and no more accept and allow a dream to simply be “Happening to them” This came up in my dream this morning. There was this being in the dream who started to “lead me on” through moving sexually/sensually at which point “caught my attention” and I had this thought feeling/though inside me that I really should not be doing this, meaning participating with this particular event as I had already determined within myself that this would not support me but rather just further energetic mind addictions. So when I woke up I started to consider this “other person” in the dream who is someone from my past being in the dream and manipulating me through her actions and movements. And so in the dream I “locked onto” the being and could not “tear myself away” meaning I had actually agreed within myself that I would participate. There was this ‘point’ though in looking at this whole thing that why would I have a dream like this in the first place. And also in the dream there was this thought I had towards the other being like “you shouldn’t be doing this” which is actually fascinating because look – In this moment, within allowing this thought within my dream I am accepting and allowing quite a deceptive point as first of all it is my dream. Secondly all that exist within my dream is essentially me. I mean if I really did not want that person to be doing that I would not have created the situation scenario in the first place. Or even so I would not have willed this point/aspect of my dream into existence. I have had this experience lately of me actually ‘willing movement’ in my dreams. This normally happen in relation to sex when sex present itself in the dream where all of the sudden I actually start to deliberately will and direct the dream and even the participants of my dream to do what I want where in I am actually directing the outcome of the dream within the dream to suit my Desires, which usually would mean me getting sex or something like that. So quite interesting because this actually show that I in fact am able to be directive in the dreams though at the moment, my directive principle of myself within dreams is to simply feed my desires particularly sex as I really do not “take over” dreams to bring about any other outcome other than sex – though it usually has to present itself first within the dream and then a “switch will go on” and I will like “come alive in the dream” So was cool to see this point today of how I am not actually “subject to peoples actions in dreams” and is a cool point of Self Responsibility to get to a point of Self Honesty where one is Here and Selof Honest in Dreams as well. Though at the moment dreams stil just more or less happen and I am in them experiencing myself as if I have not directive principle but just move at the will of the dream. So here it is firstly to realize that I was being Self Dishonest in allowing myself to imply that ones actions in ‘my’ dreams are somehow separate from me or independent from me and that I am ‘powerless’ to them, and that it is even a different person standing before me. I mean, I actually wanted to be seduced within myself in fact so that is why the dream occurred, no matter if I say I “this is bad” or “wrong” or whatever, the actual truth of myself, what I actually am existing as and holding onto and living and desiring within me manifest as the dream.