Tag Archives: self expression

“Guilt” Illustration by Andrew Gable

Posted on by
I started this drawing simply as self support. I had been doing a few other drawings at the time related to more specific illustrations for Desteni related projects and so I decided to do a “drawing for myself” just as a point to “loosen Up” Which I saw would be supportive on multiple levels. One, to simply explore a different subject with my drawing tablet which I started using now about 2 months ago and so just exploring what is possible with it (digital drawing) and also just building up my ability within using it. This then would intern assist with developing more specific skills for further refining the projects I was/am busy with, within desteni. It also was a point of supporting me within a point/experience I was going through at the time. This drawing actually initiated from a pain I had in my back. This pain was quite heavy and I decided to rather than just allow myself to “do what the pain wants” which is just to go relax and lay down in my bed, that I would find a way to be directive and so thus decided to make a drawing about it. I have in the past also made similar themed drawings where I look at how to describe my experience or an experience or pain that I have had or am having using Art, and this was one of those artworks. It is also about provding an image that can be used as support within the context of the desteni material and walking process – Naturally, everything I do now in art is within the context of walking process as this has slowly but surely become the total context of my life. In starting the drawing I initially thought I would call the drawing “depression” as the pain I experienced in my back I saw more within the context of depression, as that heaviness that comes over oneself where in they really don’t feel like doing much. But that is precisely why I decided to rather do the drawing, because I required to give myself direction instead of accepting and allowing myself to be directed by this point of depression because in doing that, that would have just perpetuated the entire point/experience. I realized this and so rather decided to make the drawing as a point of support to not just continue to give into this point of depression and just wanting to “be depressed and do nothing” I also thought it would be good because then I would actually give this specific pain within my back some specific attention as I looked at and began the process of describing it using visual means. This way I really start to find words and ways to describe the experience/pain within myself. I actually “missed the point” in the drawing which initially I was a bit frustrated about. Where once I had done the initial layout, I was seeing that my “description” or “Illustration” was not depicting/describing the actual experience/pain I was having. But this took a while to do the layout so just decided to follow the point through and remember to next time make sure I am more specific in making sure I get that exact point/pain/experience of self. But for this one, I thought I’d just see the point through to also see if this frustration I had at “missing the point” was in fact real because I had had experiences before where I initially don’t like how some drawings are going but do not give up at that point and just push through that  frustration, and end up satisfied in the end – Thus I decided to just keep going with it. I have done many drawings where it seems like it is "not working" for while to then push through that experience and find on the other side I am satisfied. So I placed in the word “Guilt” today and I could actually relate to the image even though it was not exactly what I had intended to do in the beginning. What I see is the following. Stop guilt before guilt stops you! If you look at the being in the image – he is completely weighed down by his guilt as the heavy rocks which he has accumulated through time. Eventually the guilt will hault you in your tracks. This drawing shows that it is really impractical to carry around your guilt. And that you in fact can’t, because eventually it will just weigh you down until you are stopped in your tracks and in a way forced to let go of it. This is interesting because I did not intend to illustrate this point as how I am now relating to it – so from a certain perspective the drawing is actually showing me something that I did not intend and was not expecting. Yet at the same time I was exploring a point within myself and ended up seeing an aspect of myself though not what I expected – Cool! So yes, I see this point in myself of how I hold onto things (Guilt) so much until I literally can no longer move, where it just weighs me down and weighs me down I must keep an eye on this point to make sure I am not accumulating the rocks of guilt where I am then racked with guilt which make it very difficult to move/express. Because in a way it is like I do not even notice I do it and then all this shit just builds up and pile on and I get stuck in my tracks. I mean if you look at the drawing -  that is some Extensive Shit there – I mean that is like holding onto the shit until it is well beyond practical – And this is something that I see I have done in the past as well, Simply not forgiving myself for my past but just hanging on until it is just to much and I end up having no other choice to just let it go. So I will continue my process of walking self forgiveness and work on this point of actually supporting me to Learning how to let go and forgive myself rather than just have all this shit pile up within me. Watch The Timeline's of Transformation by these Destonians who decided to walk the process of self change, self investigation and self forgiveness Maya http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5D6B961D83CFCE99 Malin http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL25E95574AAF58A81 Ann http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0CA747E54AA4A30D Niklas http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL81DE39D527B661E7 Andrew (Me) http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL735D8A50910965D6 Kim http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL735D8A50910965D6 Marlen http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCC6C700A73112C6B Matti http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8DCCBB998644F2C3 Anna http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0C97A56FDC7D704F Viktor http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCDF6C7A72E5857AB   Also for Self Supportive Products Visit to assist and support within your process of Self Honesty and Self Stablization Visit - Eqafe.com Featured Eqafe.com Product What is Sex? introduction. - 6 Part Series of Audio Recordings - Why and how and for what purpose sex became part of the creation-design of the Human-Race   www.desteni.org www.desteniiprocess.com  

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (Movie Review) – Who are You as a Brand?

Posted on by
I just finished watching the move “The Greatest Movie Ever Sold” which is a documentary about Advertising, where the entire movie is based on showing the Filmmaker approaching different/various companies and business and getting them to sponsor his Movie, in exchange for product placement/advertising in the movie itself.  As the viewer we get the “behind the scenes” look at the advertising processes involved in such an endeavour as well as commentary on the overall role advertising plays not only in movies and the creative process, but our day to day lives as well. One of the questions raised in the Movie was the question of “Selling Out” specifically related to the Film-makers personal integrity during the creative process of making the movie, as well as looking at the integrity of other individuals or “Artists” who “take-money” in exchange for product placement or Advertising where a particular expression such as a movie or work of art or song, or even individual  allows within their expression a point or points  specifically, deliberately, and for no other reason and purpose but for Generating Money. I faced this question myself in my life as I decided early on that I wanted to be an Artist, and make paintings and art. I saw this point of “Money” and how this could potentially influence my creative expression but from my perspective this was not a valid consideration within the context of the Artwork from the perspective that, if I allowed money to influence the work of Art, and “My Self Expression” than I simply missed the point altogether of what it means “To Be an Artist” or to have “Self Respect”  – and so thus it was apparently obvious to me that “of course you do not incorporate money making into the creative process...duuuuh” Though I realized eventually that I actually was still not seeing the entirety of the point! I did not see how this world was Designed. I did not see how the world/money system actually operate. I believed that it was actually possible to do this – To make a work of art that was not influenced by money. I did not see to what depths money has/had infiltrated this world and was already placed absolutely as the Foundation upon which my very existence depended on, and thus also the foundation of the Art I would be making. So the question of selling-out is really a non-question as we are so beyond selling out that the question in itself only show the lack of understanding/awareness of an individual with regards to where we currently are in terms of how the world/money system is functioning at this very moment and the extent of Control it has on “The Creative Process” I Grew up mostly in the Country (out of the city) and our family was more oriented towards “Artistic Stuff” , and so thus I was not really exposed to the “truth” about money and how it was actually already infused into absolutely everything of this existence. And here I believed it was possible to make “Original Art” Though from a certain perspective I did have the opportunityto see/experience life and in my case making art for the sake of just expressing me rather than basing it on money, which in turn supported me in seeing what a fuck up we have created as our current world system and how there can be no such thing as Original Art in a world where Money is God. Where money determine if you live or die, what kind of education you have, the skills you develop, the resources you have, the way you express yourself and of course also the Art you would make. Part of my process was realizing that now is not the time or the place the “purse art” to “pursue my dream to be an artist” I mean I can see how in our current system we are limiting ourselves extensively in terms of our potential. Our potential has a “ceiling” has a “Cap” Perhaps thats why its called “CAPitalism” – Because there is a “cap” on our potential and possibility of our expression within such a system. I mean you can only pedal your bike so fast...eventually you require a different “system” to go faster. Like a car for instance. Thus we fist must actually change the world, change the system, change the environment we live in before Art or Self Expression will be able to expand and grow and actually become Valid and not simply be just another “product of money”, So from a certain perspective this Movie “Missed the Point” It did not go deep enough into seeing that we have sold our souls long ago so to speak, simply by accepting and allowing such a system as capitalism to exist as the Ruling System that is the foundation of ALL experience of ourselves here on this planet. I was also looking at how we ourselves as individuals advertise.  How we play out the exact same process we see playing out between the Hollywood movie and the Advertiser, where partnerships are formed and adds are seamlessly interwoven into the movie/creative product. We do exactly this - For instance becoming friends with someone simply because they are cool and it will make us look cooler in the eyes of another we are trying to impress. Its advertising! Wearing a certain article of clothing to look appear a certain way and in this attract specific friends and attention from others. Talking/speaking/communicating  a certain specific manner in the words/topics and tonality of voice we express so as to “get others to like us” To give us their attention so that we feel and experience ourselves a certain way. Or knowing an inside joke – its like a commercial we run as advertising which symbolize our status within our world. We as individuals are walking advertisements/presentations and if anything, what Hollywood and giant corporations are showing us -  is who we as individuals have actually become. And to the degree/extent  which we exist prominently as absolute advertisements where there is nothing left that is actual substance. Just like a Hollywood movie. We as humanity has become all surface! So obviously this is not an acceptable way to continue existing, and also is an indication of it is not about what is taking place “out-there” but that we first must sort ourselves out and explore/investigate why we accept and allow ourselves to exist as walking advertisements teaming up with others to generate more attention, more viewers.  We must have a look at the clothes we wear, our environment, the type of car we chose to drive. The coffee shops we hang out in. Everything to develop our own personal Brand as who we are as personality and only doing this to “appear a certain way” to be “liked” to be “cool” To be “better than another” to “be the best”. Our goal as a being in this world has to become a brand and create ourselves as a product, a perfect presentation, but is that who we really are? I see that I am still in the beginning of realizing that there is something “more” to myself than what I had considered and explored before. I am still in the process of deconstructing the personality, the brand that I have created that is me, so that I no longer exist as a walking advertisement and presentation. Id like to actually find out who I am if I let go of all this superficial bullshit that I see myself existing as daily. I realize that this will take some time considering how I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in this way for so long. though this is a decision I have made, that I am in the process of making still. Knowing that what I am living is a lie, but still finding the courage and discipline and way within myself to actually change/transform myself and find out who I am/will be in no more accepting such an existence of myself purely as a a personality, as advertising, as a Hollywood movie that I want everyone to like. Who are we when the movie stops   Equal Money Website Link - equalmoney.org Desteni website - desteni.co.za   Featured Products on the Equality Store Equal Money Book - An in depth explanation of all the in's and out's and workings of How an Equal Money System will be implemented and Function in this world. http://store.desteni.org/inventory/agable-equal-money-future-of-money-volume-1   My Evil Twin - By Sunette Spies Audio Recording -Sunette explains the manifestation of a parasitical 'evil twin' that grew and exists wihtin and as self as a resonant back-chat system. http://store.desteni.org/inventory/agable-sunette-spies-my-evil-twin          

Steven Hawking : Heaven is a Fairy Story? – The Debate is Over as Desteni and Equal Money Create Heaven on Earth!

Posted on by
There seem to be some reaction to recent comments made by famous physicist Steven Hawking who in an interview with “The Gaurdian” stated that Heaven is a “Fairy Story” for those who are afraid of death. This point of Heaven is quite interesting given our current situation and what is HERE all around us in this world. I guess what is here as Earth would not be considered a Heaven? I wonder what those who do not believe in Heaven would define as our world? Because in arguing a heaven does not exist, they are still arguing about “Heaven” where in they must understand the concept of heaven to be arguing about its non-existence, so in a way those that argue that heaven does not exist are actually confirming that they do in fact believe in heaven from the perspective that they are in essence holding that same “idea” as the “heaven believers” which they are arguing against, so from my perspective, actually believing in heaven, because heaven in itself at the moment is simply an idea, a concept. Because if you look around, this earth is definitely not heaven. Or is it? I guess it depends on, what exactly, heaven is to you. Its seems there are various definitions of Heaven. In fact, it seems that depending on what religion you believe in, or family structure you were raised within, or culture, or kind of music you listen to etc, would determine what kind of Heaven you would believe in. From my perspective, Heaven is HERE. We have just really fucked it up. What Desteni is presenting is that Heaven is possible, though it is up to us to create it for ourselves. So to for instance develop ourselves so that our interaction with each other, and nature and this planet can stand as actions that would exist in and as a heavenly heaven. Thus it is to stop all Hope, all dreaming, all believing, and to start Practically Moving and creating Heaven on Earth. I mean, what do we have to lose really? Our reality is already quite fucked up with pretty much everything that constitutes a Hell actually. War, murder, mass poverty and starvation, alcohol and drug abuse, depression, slave labor, horrendous animal abuse, the toxification and destruction of earth itself. So really nothing to lose if we were to actually in fact change how we live in this world. Change our behavior, how we interact with what is here. An absolute overhaul actually of how we live. We cannot go living the same way and doing the same things every day and expect our world to change. The world is essentially an outflow of our participation and movement, and thus we must change our participation in order to create a world that is dignified and best for ALL. So suggest to join us at desteni as we as a group are those individuals who rather than sit back and debate whether a heaven exist or not, are actually standing up and taking practical action to thus create heaven on earth for ourselves. Why Wait? Thus investigate what we are proposing at Desteni as an Equal Money System as one of the initial phases of bringing about heaven on earth as that which is dignified and best for all. The Equal Money System is a New Money System designed to replace the current money system that obviously thus far has created anything but heaven on earth. I mean look within your own world. There are moments when one in fact decide to change. Where you exist within a certain behavior pattern that actually just make your life miserable to the point where you decide – Fuck, I need to change. So why not do this with the entire planet. We have existed within destructive behaviors towards the earth for long enough. Thus, it is time to stop this. Thus the Equal Money System will be quite a change for this planet and not a moment to soon. Another fascinating process underway which anyone can participate within is the “Desten I Process” The "Desteni I Process" is a way for those who are willing to stand up and say “NO MORE” and actually start to direct themselves to change and create themselves as beings that are not any more products of our current/old system of abuse and suffering, but who are willing to stand as something new. As a New Humanity that no more accept and allow such abuse and suffering that is allowed now, and who effectively will become those who are able to stand in a Heaven on Earth. This means that the beings themselves must actually in fact have a deep respect for earth and each other and life, as if there is anything less than this, than this would not actually be heaven now would it. Thus to actually in fact create heaven on earth, we must in essence transform ourselves, and re-educate ourselves, and purify ourselves, and this is what the Desteni I Process is for. Where one get monthly lessons designed to support a being in the process of self change and self transformation...essentially self creation where one in a way stand as a God from the perspective of actually creating themselves and supporting the creation of a practical heaven on earth. So let’s stop debating about Heaven and Start Creating it Here on Earth, Starting with an Equal Money System and the“Desteni I Process”

Put On The BRAKES!!! – Our System is Not Working.

Posted on by
About a month and a half ago I was driving down the street and noticed a slight ‘wobble’ when I applied my van brakes. It was quite slight so thought I would test it out a bit to see if I was deluding myself or if there was actually something going on here with my brakes – I mean, it could have just been a bumpy road. But over the next few days it was clear that there was something “out” with my brakes and I likely would have to get them checked out. I didn’t have any money at the time, and it was not too noticeable so thought I would continue driving the van and pray to the heavens that the van will miraculously fix itself. Humm or hope for aliens to come and fix my van...lol. Anyways I was definitely in a tight spot because I simply did not have the money to fix the brakes and so I just continued to drive the van with the brakes acting funny. It was not a cool experience as each time I applied the brakes, they would shutter, and make “not cool” noises like grinding etc, and this got worse day by day. And so now to go and drive my van, I like cringe inside myself and spend the whole time attempting to come to rolling stops so that when I apply my brakes my coffee doesn’t spill all over in my cupholder from the “shuddering” of the breaks, making the whole van vibrate. So here is a perfect example of how the current system does not actually support human beings within it, but leave them to fend for themself, and if “something happens” like for instance the brakes going out on your vehicle and you are not in a position to pay for that than basically it is too bad for you! I had also started a new job so was required to drive daily to my job and thus required a dependable vehicle to get from point a to point b. I mean the entire system is designed in many ways where individuals must actually drive to their jobs. So yes, basically this experience has not been a cool one of first noticing the tiny wobble which has now been about 1 and half months ago, to getting to the stage where I took it in to the mechanic to ask questions, because that is all I could do at that stage is ask about it and get a basic price because I just did not have the money to fix it, and then to continue driving around, waiting for my tires to fall off or my brakes to fall off in the middle of driving down the highway, so actually quite of bit inner stress and tension related to this point, which could have been completely eliminated if I simply had money to go in immediately and correct the point. And so now tonight I have phoned a co-worker to ask for a ride to work and I will now have to come up with a temporary solution as fixing my brakes is still even a month away, though it has gotten so bad, that I am no more able to drive my van until I get them brakes fixed. I mean this is serious shit too if you look at it – These are my brakes...You NEED Brakes on your vehicle, so this is a practical safety issue where I am not in a position to direct the point as I do not have sufficient money at the moment, yet “there is nothing I can do” from the perspective of “the system” considering this point in any way and having provisions for such scenarios I mean “who cares if your life or others are at risk” – In our current system - If you don’t have money than Life simply does not matter. So Best to start considering these points of how our current system does not support LIFE but in Fact Values money more than life itself – as shown by the example above (or must I mention those dying by the second due to the neglect of the system and mankind). I mean MONEY should have Absolutely NO say – It is practical common sense that you ensure that each being has effective support in their daily functionality period! This basic consideration has nothing to do with money – Yet we have made it so, and thus we require to change how this system operate to create a system that actually consider life and not money. Within an equal money system this never would have happened. If there was a problem like this that come up, one can go immediately in to fix the point as to ensure that no further consequences occur, like for instance now not even knowing what else is messed up because of driving on bad brakes for 1 month past the point when they should have been already fixed. Our Current System is Simply NOT PRACTICAL. It is not considering all the practical points. So this has been quite an experience for me to see yet another aspect of how our current system is simply NOT WORKING, or looking at the actual practical points to be considered for an actual dignified functional living environment for all and why an Equal Money System will actually transform points like this, so that if anything occur with your vehicle, it is not a matter of money to get it fixed. You will simply be able to immediately get it fixed. The system actually is Holding itself Back, and in fact impedes the expression of those within it, instead of nurturing and supporting ones expression and movement within it. Such a fuck-up is our system. Thus Support an Equal Money System as an equal money system is actually taking into consideration the necessary points to create an environment which will actually be, not only, much more effective and functional but also which supports the expression of the being – I mean, after all, should this not be what life is about? Actually living and expressing ourselves. So what have we created a system that punish us, that stand in our way, that create barriers and limitations and obstacles. Thus we require to take a serious look at this, and also a serious Look at OURSELVES to see what we have accepted life and living to be. I mean afterall we did create this system, thus it is a reflection of ourselves, revealing that it is time to seriously reconsider what we are considering as human beings because what our current system show is that that we are quite delusional if we insist that a persons safety and well being should be dependent on them having money. Thus we must change ourselves and in doing so change the system of abuse which reflect who we actually are and how we actually exist within ourselves. Support Equal Money System as a system which value life, common sense, what is Best for ALL , and the actual dignified effective living of beings.

The Way Of The Destonian

Posted on by
I went and voted today in our Canadian Election. I had some resistance to doing this simply out of laziness, and I could see I had no real reason to not go. I had some back-chat excuses that came up, like “It is pointless” or “ it doesn’t matter anyways” or “its to late anyways” or “you don’t have the right ID” But With the Tools that I have now been developing / applying within the "Desteni I Process" I could see that I was resisting and simply attempting to come up with some excuse to justify me not going, which was not acceptable and thus I did not accept such excuses and pushed myself to go. This has been a cool point with the Desteni I Process, where in, within participating with DIP, one actually start to become more aware of themselves and how they are actually creating their reality, and thus stop accepting and allowing themselves to essentially just be slaves to their thoughts, feelings and emotions, but rather start becoming more directive and effective within their world. Particularly how we as human beings exist as and consist of primarily Excuses and Justifications, and that this has become our way of being, and so with Desteni I Process one actually start to take on this beingness of self and begin the process of developing self that Stand Up For Life and stop the excuses and start taking Responsibility for themselves, this earth, and what is here. I went over with my roommate and we both voted. As we walked into the school where we were to vote there were some kids there making some comments with regards to us being there voting, like “thanks for voting” and cheering and things, lol. Its funny, voting is considered the “right thing to do”, like if you vote, than you are good and responsible, and if you do not vote than you are bad and an outcast. The Kids thanking us for voting obviously had no idea what voting is actually about and were basically just saying that stuff because they believed that if they did, they would get approval of some kind or that they were doing "the right thing". Its sad that we are programming children this way, to speak and act in ways that they do not understand, but are only trained to believe, with no background as to why it is that way. They are trained to simply accept something as right because their parents or some adult says, “that is right and that is wrong” without actually giving the child the understanding as the actual specific workings, details and context of why something is right or wrong. It is simply – “that is right and that is wrong, and do not question me”. And in this we DESTROY Life and DESTROY Children. This world is such a mess. Voting is such a mess. Why not just teach every individual on earth how the earth actually works and bring everyone to the same understanding so that it is absolutely clear to all individuals what is required to be done to ensure the effective management of this earth in terms of what is best for all. In this we would not have to endure the election process where you simply have world leaders attempting to convince individuals that they have the best answer though within all of this - The Entire Picture is never seen nor understood. Its all about 'maybes' and 'what if's', 'opinions' Politicians along with everyone else have come to such a complacent acceptance of this world and the way it is and no more see how ABSURD it actually is. Like for example having locks on your car door so that nothing gets stolen. This is so common, to have locks on your car door. So that we can lock the car at night or when we go into the store so we do not get robbed. This is strange. There should be no reason for Locks. Human Begins should actually walk/live in self respect and dignity and treat all other humans with dignity as they themselves would want to be treated. At the moment locks on your car door is simply accepted by everyone and no one seems to notice what this is implying – Everyone Still existing within a “that’s just the way it is” mind-set, so much so that they will argue for this and not consider it possible to live in a world where such seemingly normal things a locks and locking your car door is not necessary because each being on earth would actually honor one another, and not need or require to steal anything. Most people are this way and are quick to say – Its not possible to create such a world, where humans no longer steal and cheat and lie. There is however a group that simply does not accept such limitations. There is a group that SEE that for example we should not have to lock are doors at night, that it is actually possible to bring forth a world without war, poverty, a group who are not accepting the limitation that “its just human nature and there is nothing that can be done” I stand with this group, as I see that I cannot stand with such a world that accept such atrocious acts and ways of living to be “just how it is” Utter Bull-shit this is. This Group is Desteni, and I stand with this group because I much prefer to stand with beings who push for self respect, dignity and a world that is Best for ALL. One aspect I enjoy about participating with Destonians is I do not have to manipulate anyone when I speak to them or deal with them trying to deceive and manipulate me, to get an fix or energy as an energetic high to fuel their ego. These EGO EXCHANGES are much less within the Destonian Community and I find this allows for myself to be able to actually breath and relax and enjoy my experience. There literally is a Kindness that comes through with the desteni group, A kindness that is extremely rare in this world. And I am not talking about “people who are nice to you” I am talking about people who understand themselves and their experience of self in such a way where they are not constantly projecting their inner suppressed anger, frustrations and bull-shit onto you. I mean you can be as nice as you want but behind this be actually having nasty thoughts about the person and blaming the person for all sorts of stuff. This is really not cool and I find this is how this world exit. At desteni Each one is willing to take responsibility for themselves to the utmost degree and take responsibility for each thought that come up and all that is going on inside themselves. Because of this I don’t have to constantly be on the look out for beings projecting their shit onto me or another or blaming me or another, because Destonians are actually standing up and taking responsibility for themselves, where in fact I have found literally no one in this world that does this or is even aware of the point of taking absolute self responsibility for themselves and what goes on inside themselves. I am not saying that it never happens, because this is a process, though it is definitely a relief to be interacting with beings that are aware of this point of taking absolute self responsibility for everything of themselves and essentially all that is HERE. I mean this is fucking cool shit, participating with Beings that are Willing to Take Absolute FULL Responsibility for ALL that is Here, for all that exist on this Earth. Each One standing within this point and taking this point on and not accepting excuses or saying “why should I have to take responsibility for someone else” So Yes, I much rather participate with Beings who will NOT accept any such excuse But simply see the common sense in Standing Up and taking responsibility for ALL that is HERE, no matter what. I mean From this perspective Destonians Really Get Shit Done and do not ever pass the responsibility off to someone else saying “oh its not my responsibility” If you are tired of a world where all that exist are excuses and justifications, and limitations, suggest to investigate the Desteni I Process - http://desteniiprocess.com/ Because this is the training to educate ourselves to actually become Responsible Individuals to the utmost Degree, accepting no more excuses or justifications, but just Getting it Done. No more accepting this world that we have created, and such points as having to lock are doors at night – I mean com’on people, what is the point of giving up on that which you really actually want this world to be like. Like the way you expected it to be when you were a child, where you actually had the freedom to express yourself - That is if you were not dying of starvation somewhere. At Desteni we are a group of individuals who are not accepting this world how it is and are coming together to bring about a change. At the moment one of the Primary Goals is the bringing about of an Equal Money System , where we actually replace the current money system with an New Equal Money System. And before you accept that experience within yourself coming up as you read this where you simply dismiss this or believe this is not possible – I would suggest to consider the point that in dismissing the equal money system, you are essentially implying that you agree with this current world, of crime, war, extensive poverty, child labour , starvation, stress of money, and basically struggling to survive each day. As long as we stand by this current world the way it is – nothing will ever change, and from my perspective, I have had enough of this world and thus participate fully in the Bringing forth of an equal money system, and a world that is actually the world we have always wanted to live in, and that supports ALL individuals to live and express and explore themselves. Equal Money Website – www.equalmoney.org Become a Destonian – http://desteniiprocess.com/ Desteni Main Website – www.desteni.co.za

Equality Either Lives or Dies by Your Hand.

Posted on by
I see that I wanted equality to manifest, to happen, and then YAH it would be here, be accepted and then one would be able to expressive themselves within this point of equality. Yet I missed the point of “how it would get here” I missed the point that this is actually directly related to my participation. I did not see this, even though I have been told this before, numerous times, but this point escaped me, This point as the clear blue sky became clouded and foggy and I could no longer see this point but all I see is the clouds and the fog. So there is a momentary clearing here so I am writing this down as a record of what I see. I see that Equality is directly related to my participation and expression as equality. The equality that I see and have come to understand within my participation in process is a point which not many see, and this “Not Many” is less than what I even perceive I am sure. I see that I was waiting for equality to come. I see that I did not see myself as the one to bring forth equality. I see that my direct participation with and as equality is directly related to if, when, and how equality emerge. Thus if I hold back, if I wait, then equality sit there dormant. Why...My understanding is as follows. Because people do not understand what equality is as it is being shared in process. Equality is not programmed, meaning it has no points to connect to within the current system. It has no place in the current system. Equality does not exist within this world as this world is this system which has no room for equality...why? Because equality will destroy the system. Why would anything make room for something that will destroy it. Lol. This world is designed to make sure than anyone which support life and self expression feels inadequate. As they become inadequate in the system as that which they support is actually not a part of the system, thus it cannot connect to the system, they cannot connect to the system and end up with not system support, no money, no voice, and perceive themselves as inadequate. So yes I see that I had “sat back” and was waiting. Waiting for more people to come forth and support equality, not considering the point that these people do not just “come forth” but that they must be ‘gotten’ meaning, would I have even realized the point of equality if I had not see a desteni video. Unlikely as I see that the context that desteni presented was not something that I had herd anywhere before. It was as if the entire context of Desteni was “out of this world” Equality is not pre-programmed but must be a self-directive Act. Meaning nothing is going to come to me and say “Hey please talk to me about equality” or I am not going to suddenly stumble upon some ‘outlet’, out there in the system that is a match for my equality ‘plug’ Essentially I see that I and that we within the desteni process are the source of equality and thus it is not “out there” anywhere. We are the very edge, the very outside ripple of equality expanding through our self will and self direction into an ocean that has never touched equality before. Like giving birth to equality if those that stand for equality sit back and wait, then equality also sit back and wait. I have yet to take an “active role” in bringing forth equality by introducing it to others, yet I now see that if I do not introduce it, if I do not bring it forward and place it into someone’s life, they will never see it. They will never have the opportunity that I had when desteni place themselves into my world through by placing the website and placing the videos. It seems difficult at times when my entire world do not understand equality, but it is common sense that if I sit back and wait...that, because the entirety of my world is not aware of this point, that there is no point within my world that will bring this point of equality into it. Thus I cannot wait for it. I am the point within my world that must bring forth the point of equality and the emergence of equality is from this perspective my responsibility. The question is. Why do I give up and give in on this point – Do I really want equality in my world. Am I really willing to do what it takes to bring this point forth into my world so that equality does not only exist within my bedroom! But exist also in my household, my world environment, etc. If I do not ‘spread’ equality than thats it, it stops. ‘Spreading’ Equality is not preaching equality. I cannot convince someone of equality, but I can ‘introduce’ it to them. So that is the point I see. That I am able to introduce equality into my world. And that within this context, Equality either Lives or Dies by my Hand

Ultimate Excuse Exposed!!! – “Im too tired to Get Up”…Or Am I.

Posted on by
Using the excuse that "I am too tired" so that I can sleep a little longer in the mornings is clearly a justification, and oh god I really sell this one too, like stretching and moaning and moving lethargic - "Oh just a few minutes longer" Oh Please. This is not valid because any morning I have to get up to go to work, I just get up, instantly, as soon as the alarm goes off - this proves that I in fact can "get over" tiredness by willing myself up, in one breath as I do it every morning when I work - thus, "I am too tired" is not actually real. I just make it. No matter how tired I am in the mornings when I work, or have something "time sensitive" that requires direction, I get up. proving I am in fact able to get up even though it may "seem like" I am really tired.

Keep it Simple Keep it Stable

Posted on by
So a point opened up within me just now in reading a post. It is simply being accountable for myself in each and every moment and every circumstance and not accepting and allowing myself to “let my guard down” which is basically me going into my mind. And just letting my world fall to shit in no time at all. This has been a ‘problem’ with me I notice in my application. This absolute point of consistency and constancy. I have noticed that I am sort of consistent and kind of constant sometimes which really just shows that this point is not yet in place. Particularly since getting back to Canada I have faced this point quite a bit in getting my world sorted out, and getting a job, and just the basic practical points of “my life” I see that I tend to go into a kind of submission to the world, and to the system, and just not wanting to do anything, and I allow myself to go into this energy and then I stop being consistent and my world starts to fall apart. Then I pick myself up again and get back to business and am stable for a while but then eventually again this point creeps up and I give-in to “not wanting to do anything”. I see it more a fear and actually a point of Self Dishonesty and Self-Pity and Manipulation where I allow myself to go into “things are just too hard” and I always fall on this point of Directing my world. Which I see if I would actually Fucking Stand-UP in these moments and remain stable constant in my application and also to support myself through these moments using self forgiveness and breath, that I would develop my Self-Strength and effectiveness and would be much more directive and my world would probably “work better” And this is because it is mathematically so, where in I am simply directing more physical points and ensuring the practical points of my reality are moving and directed. The simple shit of basic human living – This is where I “give in” like not wanting to clean your room when it is obviously way to disorganized, not wanting to answer that one e-mail you know you should, not wanting to log online and pay the bills, not wanting to search for jobs online. So it is really the points that make ones world tick, and make ones world move. So I will do this and be able to sustain doing this for a while but eventually I reach that point where I start to strain. And that’s it. That’s the moment where I could make my life a whole lot easier by not making it more difficult. I Don’t actually have to do anything special or profound, but just keep consistently directing the basics of my world and actually remain constant and stable and effective and HERE within doing this so that I do it effective and not just enough to make it go. Keep it simple keep is stable

The FEAR Residing Within in Every Waking Moment

Posted on by
Ok going to write about a point that just came up as I was doing a vlog which has come up before or could say has not really ever “went away” but has always been here within the experience of myself, though given my experience just a moment ago as a reaction I had within this point thought Id write about it here to assist and support myself to open/correct this point as I see that the point is not at all ‘moving’ from a certain perspective but remains as a point within me that just sits there inside of me determining, directing, and influencing me within my reality, where in essence it is in fact quite a prominent point which I am sure is actually influencing me in multiple ways and that I have simply gotten accustom to just allowing so am here now “giving myself some insight” into some aspects of this. So the point was as follows: I was making a vlog and was making a few of them, talking about various points. I was not entirely satisfied with the content of the Vlogs though I was simply testing different ways of going about it and see what comes up in the moment. So as I was nearing the end of my vlog I was simply just speaking and I find at times I can “get into vlogging” and start to speak louder to emphasise certain aspects of what I am talking about. Anyways I herd my roommates get home, as I herd them talking and coming in through the front door. Now I have made some Vlogs while they are around in the house though not many as I prefer to make them alone, as I find they are actually not home allot and so I find I have ample time to make vlogs where I am alone with just me. So as I was speaking and I herd them come in , I immediately went into reaction and ended the vlog as quickly as possible. They caught me off Guard you could say. I find I am able to express myself better when I make vlogs when no one is in the house as I find I am able to relax more and am more comfortable when I speak. Though this point of fear that came up in the moment here requires to be looked at as it is still directing me extensively from my perspective as I have been noticing more lately how this ‘energy’ will come up within me in my reality in different situations so writing here as to be able to stabilize myself when this energy come up again, where in I will actually have some insight into ‘it’ instead of only just experiencing it and then thinking ok I better look at that. So have opened it up some here so will see when this comes again how I “handle it” as I do realize that I will require to walk this aspect of myself within a certain amount of process and thorough investigation as this point I realize is quite woven into the design of myself, and is nit tightly into many many if not all aspects of myself with its intricate root systems branching out and latching onto and within various constructs and ideas, thoughts and beliefs that I have formed and created and manifested as Me. I fear having to face them (my roommates) later. I see I am “not comfortable” with them knowing I am vlogging. So from a certain perspective I have already “defined my personality” as who I am around them and in relation to them and ‘conduct’ myself in a certain specific way which is “agreed upon” meaning everyone gets along, and there is minimal friction. Though by vlogging this does not actually “suit that personality” which is why I do it normally when they are gone. Meaning I have not “defined me” as one who makes vlogs all the time, like while they are home, they regularly hear me and have gotten used to me making vlogs throughout the day where it has become a common experience – this is not the case at all. One aspect of this is to “simplify things” by not having to get them involved with Desteni and what I am doing. I have discussed the point some though not to much in depth. They are aware that I make vlogs at times but perhaps not aware of the content I speak about. They maybe have an indication that it is “political based” Though I do see Desteni as a Mind Fuck for people, meaning “it fuck their mind” where no one yet in my world has been able to “take desteni on” fully, or embrace the process, but mostly resist it immediately or do not get it at all. Though the reactions towards Desteni I have found are not usually just a “brushing off of Desteni” but rather one judge desteni quite harsh, and have quite a reaction towards desteni, and so within this whole point of vlogging which I have mentioned, I tend to wait until I am alone to vlog because I am attempting to minimize friction with my Roomates. I enjoy where I live now and do not see my roommates “getting desteni” but rather more thinking it is weird, and then this causing friction and my eventual departure from where I am currently placed. Its funny, one cannot simply stand-up and shout out to the world how great and cool desteni is so to speak because there are only a few Destonians around at the moment, and I mean in my reality, there are none actually physicaly around me in my world and so I am still in way required to ensure that I am functional in my current reality, meaning letting people believe that I am Here in this world as a Normal Member of Society. I mean this is how I function at work – Like I am just Here in this world as normal, looking for a good paying job and wanting to be successful. (interesting Here now seeing the point for the first time of how it is necessary for Desteni to Walk as a Group) I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Standing-Out in my world as a Destonian out of fear of being judged. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how my roommates would react if they knew I was a member of Desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to energetically react within and as fear with regards to what my roommates might think of me if they knew I was participating with desteni and if they knew what desteni was about. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people reacting towards me where in I am actually still accepting and allowing myself to exist within “energetic fear” created through and as the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speculate how others might perceive me if they knew I participated with Desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of who I am as a participant of desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing out in my world as I have a secret that I must hide which is me Standing Up For Life as a participant of Desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself within my decision to stand within the desteni process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this world as the accepted and allowed ‘norms’ of this world where I have actually still accepted and allowed myself to “buy into” the ‘personalities’ of those around me and actually believe they are real from the perspective of me actually fearing the reaction of these personalities if they were to know what I was really doing, thus indicating that I am still in fact existing within and as the mind . I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what other people think of me as I walk throughout my day. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the experience of fear to direct to ensure I do not ruffle any feathers in so that I remain practical functional within this world while desteni gets established instead of me actually directing myself within this point for and as myself clear and stable and not actually allowing the point of fear to come up at all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the secret thoughts people might have about me within there mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care and concern myself with the secret thoughts that people might have about me within their minds. I forgive myself for not yet having allowed myself to let go of this world all together where I allow myself to let go of “the old” where within I stop in every way my participating through caring about what is considered normal or not as “normal” at the moment is simply an opinion within peoples minds, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the mind as me fearing what others minds think of me instead of looking at practically in fact what the fuck the Mind really is where I See in Common sense that the mind is a system of beliefs and constructs programmed through ones environment and that in fact no one is actually “thinking for themselves” but has in fact become completely brain washed – and yet I still allow me to fear what people think when in fact people are not thinking anything at all – it is actually the mind that has completely take over the being and think for the person and I mean the mind is a dime a dozen, meaning they are all essentially the same. I forgive myself that I haven’t yet allowed myself to walk here as self trust within and as self alone within this world where I walk process for and as myself and realize that it is not about what anyone thinks or say’s or believes about me from the perspective of judging me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I must ignore what people think about me instead of realizing that it is about rather seeing in common sense and understanding “the actual state of beings” within this world and “how the mind actually function” within beings and stop taking things personally, as the mind is in essence automated and just running a program. I forgive myself for not investigating the energetic experiences I have of self in depth in so that I actually start to effectively see how I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as, so that I can stop and assist and support myself to live here as breath as Life as What is Best for ALL. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “feel down” when considering never again going to the farm. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still want to do this process for others instead of for myself and getting to the point of where I am actually walking this process for myself. I forgive myself for not actually giving a fuck about this world or the people or nature or plants or anything in this world except for myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the experience I have of myself as “feeling lonely” I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want someone or something else to take away this experience of me of “feeling lonely” instead of me directing the point myself, so that I am Stable Here, No Matter What. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself in my mind I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself in my thoughts I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself in energy I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from facing myself in my mind because it “happens so quickly” where I end up going into a particular energetic experience which is almost as if I am “not doing anything” but then when if I really look in that moment, I am in fact living and existing in my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within deceptive energetic energy as that energy which one has become so accustomed to existing within that it is now simply natural to go into and in fact where one spend most of ones time. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘idle’ where in I ‘idle’ as how I normally experience myself but not considering that in fact this is actually a resonance of self as the mind as who self has created self as and that within this one is actually existing entirely as the mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a resonance instead of Here as Self as Breath. I forgive myself for not paying closer attention to who I am as energy and how I consist as energy and all the intricate kinds of energy and resonant experiences and energetic states of self that I have that “make-up” me.

The Manly Man – Self Investigation

Posted on by
So a point that has come up within investigating “job opportunities” is the definition one ‘receives’ within working a particular kind of job within the world. Now I have been investigating the option of doing graphic design work, because I have the basic foundation to be able to provide this service. Though I have not yet been able to “find the point” within me to really commit to the point from the perspective of “feeling Here” within the point, and stable and satisfied at this direction. So I have been investigating what is going on here, and why I have not yet been able to find a stable starting point within this, and so looking at “Ok what is up here” One point that has come up is related to a point of self definition of self in relation to how I perceive and believe and define a “Man” in this world to be, and what "A Man" does, and how a "Man" acts. And how within taking on a point such as graphic design that I would not be able to fulfill this ‘aspect’ of myself, to be "A Man" to experience me as "A Man". Like for example the “Men” of this reality that are practical and work with their hands and can be relied on and trusted and who are stable and Big and Strong and Manly and Effective within their world, and drive a big strong truck and are real manly worker type men but also strong in business and make money and are stable support in there reality. Like the type of Man that builds a house or Runs their own business. So when I look at graphic design, I do not see this aspect of "A Manly Man" within it. What I see is a man or person who is artsy, who is a pushover, who is weak, who is flimsy, and not stable or practical. Fuck interesting definition I have given to the type of person who does graphic design. So I have identified this point which I am getting into now as one of the reasons why I simply have not been able to place myself in the graphic design point. Because I would not be able to fulfill that point which I am experiencing myself as ‘lacking’ which would be the first point described as the typical worker practical stable Man. When I was on the farm I would experience me as being quite Manly when I was working with Manly tools like hammers and saws and cutting boards and drilling stuff together and lifting heavy things, and mixing cement and digging in the earth – This fulfilled my Manly Definition and so I experienced a point of satisfaction within myself within fulfilling this point. As I was the stable practical man worker. Though at the same time thus was not the entire picture, as at times I felt like I was abandoning my “creative side” like writing and art and information processing. So from a certain perspective perhaps a point of fulfillment will not be had unless I can find a point which satisfy both of these “sides of self” Now Also I see that, in fact, these are Definitions given through society and defined within ones mind in terms of who one has accepted and allowed oneself to be. Is it really necessary to “work a manly job” to fulfill this self definition point or aspect of self which I perceive/experience myself as lacking or not having fulfilled at the moment, or not being encompassed within the point of doing for example graphic design. Within the context of process and stopping the mind these aspects of self are based in the mind and thus “not real” from a certain perspective. From Here I see the point in actually looking at this ‘definition’ or ‘aspect’ of self which I have defined as “Manly” for instance and looking at how I have separated myself from this part of me and investigate how to “bring these points back to self” And investigate why I am seeing or believing that to fulfill these points I must “stand at” that point within this world which is defined as “Manly”, and seen by the world as Manly, And is this the only way to ‘amalgamate’ this point into and as myself. Also to investigate the definition I have placed within graphic design. So I require to re-look at my definition of Strength also because I am seeing that I have allowed myself to place the point of “strength” into this definition I have described as the “manly man” and that this is what strength is, and so attempt to satisfy my definition of strength by “becoming this point” I find it odd that I only experience myself as being satisfied and strong and stable and effective if I do ‘those acts’ that create this experience of self. And how within doing something like "graphic design" that point of strength is simply not there. Like for instance doing Snow Removal satisfy some of the elements of this point within me. Its like the point of “wanting to feel like a man” and experience me as worthy within this and strong, like a tree. Though being completely linked to definitions of gender and roles within society and personalities. Fuck. Ok so will continue to investigate this point. Lol - Interesting the Greek Meaning for the Name ANDREW is MANLY