Tag Archives: equal moeny

Put On The BRAKES!!! – Our System is Not Working.

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About a month and a half ago I was driving down the street and noticed a slight ‘wobble’ when I applied my van brakes. It was quite slight so thought I would test it out a bit to see if I was deluding myself or if there was actually something going on here with my brakes – I mean, it could have just been a bumpy road. But over the next few days it was clear that there was something “out” with my brakes and I likely would have to get them checked out. I didn’t have any money at the time, and it was not too noticeable so thought I would continue driving the van and pray to the heavens that the van will miraculously fix itself. Humm or hope for aliens to come and fix my van...lol. Anyways I was definitely in a tight spot because I simply did not have the money to fix the brakes and so I just continued to drive the van with the brakes acting funny. It was not a cool experience as each time I applied the brakes, they would shutter, and make “not cool” noises like grinding etc, and this got worse day by day. And so now to go and drive my van, I like cringe inside myself and spend the whole time attempting to come to rolling stops so that when I apply my brakes my coffee doesn’t spill all over in my cupholder from the “shuddering” of the breaks, making the whole van vibrate. So here is a perfect example of how the current system does not actually support human beings within it, but leave them to fend for themself, and if “something happens” like for instance the brakes going out on your vehicle and you are not in a position to pay for that than basically it is too bad for you! I had also started a new job so was required to drive daily to my job and thus required a dependable vehicle to get from point a to point b. I mean the entire system is designed in many ways where individuals must actually drive to their jobs. So yes, basically this experience has not been a cool one of first noticing the tiny wobble which has now been about 1 and half months ago, to getting to the stage where I took it in to the mechanic to ask questions, because that is all I could do at that stage is ask about it and get a basic price because I just did not have the money to fix it, and then to continue driving around, waiting for my tires to fall off or my brakes to fall off in the middle of driving down the highway, so actually quite of bit inner stress and tension related to this point, which could have been completely eliminated if I simply had money to go in immediately and correct the point. And so now tonight I have phoned a co-worker to ask for a ride to work and I will now have to come up with a temporary solution as fixing my brakes is still even a month away, though it has gotten so bad, that I am no more able to drive my van until I get them brakes fixed. I mean this is serious shit too if you look at it – These are my brakes...You NEED Brakes on your vehicle, so this is a practical safety issue where I am not in a position to direct the point as I do not have sufficient money at the moment, yet “there is nothing I can do” from the perspective of “the system” considering this point in any way and having provisions for such scenarios I mean “who cares if your life or others are at risk” – In our current system - If you don’t have money than Life simply does not matter. So Best to start considering these points of how our current system does not support LIFE but in Fact Values money more than life itself – as shown by the example above (or must I mention those dying by the second due to the neglect of the system and mankind). I mean MONEY should have Absolutely NO say – It is practical common sense that you ensure that each being has effective support in their daily functionality period! This basic consideration has nothing to do with money – Yet we have made it so, and thus we require to change how this system operate to create a system that actually consider life and not money. Within an equal money system this never would have happened. If there was a problem like this that come up, one can go immediately in to fix the point as to ensure that no further consequences occur, like for instance now not even knowing what else is messed up because of driving on bad brakes for 1 month past the point when they should have been already fixed. Our Current System is Simply NOT PRACTICAL. It is not considering all the practical points. So this has been quite an experience for me to see yet another aspect of how our current system is simply NOT WORKING, or looking at the actual practical points to be considered for an actual dignified functional living environment for all and why an Equal Money System will actually transform points like this, so that if anything occur with your vehicle, it is not a matter of money to get it fixed. You will simply be able to immediately get it fixed. The system actually is Holding itself Back, and in fact impedes the expression of those within it, instead of nurturing and supporting ones expression and movement within it. Such a fuck-up is our system. Thus Support an Equal Money System as an equal money system is actually taking into consideration the necessary points to create an environment which will actually be, not only, much more effective and functional but also which supports the expression of the being – I mean, after all, should this not be what life is about? Actually living and expressing ourselves. So what have we created a system that punish us, that stand in our way, that create barriers and limitations and obstacles. Thus we require to take a serious look at this, and also a serious Look at OURSELVES to see what we have accepted life and living to be. I mean afterall we did create this system, thus it is a reflection of ourselves, revealing that it is time to seriously reconsider what we are considering as human beings because what our current system show is that that we are quite delusional if we insist that a persons safety and well being should be dependent on them having money. Thus we must change ourselves and in doing so change the system of abuse which reflect who we actually are and how we actually exist within ourselves. Support Equal Money System as a system which value life, common sense, what is Best for ALL , and the actual dignified effective living of beings.

Dream Revealing Where I have Separated Myself.

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Ok so I was just writing about a point which came up in a dream last night. This point has to do with how I have abdicated myself from certain aspects of myself and projected them onto/into agreement, where now what comes up is an experience of desire for, and yearning and wanting for an agreement or relationship, though within investigating and opening this point up for myself I see that what I am yearning for here is that “experience” that came up in the dream last night, though have separated from me within believing that this experience can only be had within an agreement and that I must get or find an agreement to fulfil me within my specific yearnings instead of actually “giving these points to myself” There was a moment in the dream last night where I embraced, hugged another being. Within this, I totally let go, and really sunk into the experience of the embracing, hugging. I experienced the point from the perspective of as if I have/had been traveling, walking a great distance and finally got to that moment where i could just let go, and stop, and relax and breathe. Like I had arrived. Finally, and I can just for a moment let go. It was sooooo nice. One aspect that has come up as I have wrote about this point is the aspect of how I have defined the point of relationship and agreement and what I have accepted and allowed me to believe about this. One element here has to do with an agreement/relationship making everything easier. Like its easier to have another being around. And also from the perspective of money where with an agreement/relationship, even this point of money and survival become easier to deal with. So from a certain perspective, the experience I had in the dream last night while embracing and hugging the other being had to do with feeling safe, and protected. Like a kind of hiding where I could, can for a moment forget about all the worlds problems, and even in a way, dump all my problems (abdicate my self responsibility) onto this being, and that they will make me feel better and make me safe and protect me and all this stuff. Fuck, actually allot of separation here. I see that the point is to reclaim my power within these aspects that I have abdicated to the point of agreement/relationship, and realize that this experience I had within the dream last night is an experience so to speak, that I can provide for myself alone, and that I can stop projecting these aspects outside self, but rather start to investigate how I can transform my experience of me within the expression / application of self to include these points which I have separated from myself.

Breathe and Let it Go.

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I started my job today. I have been waiting for this day to come up as now there will likely be a transformation of sorts taking place in terms of my normal day to day. So should be cool actually. Simply breath through the transition. And not get caught up in any reactions/thoughts that come up inside of me. I have noticed this lately that if/when a thought, or an emotion, or feeling come up that it is like I have a bullseye on it immediately instead of rather just breathing and letting it go. So no need to give a thought, feeling, emotion, fear, worry, any more value or importance than needed. In fact the point is to not give it any attention/value but to simply just breathe, let it go and continue. Its like the point of “fearing your own fear” like fearing fear that has not even come up yet – lolol. Walking on egg shells. Like if for example one thought come up or a fear or something and thinking its the end of the world, or for that matter, if a bunch of thoughts come up or fears come up, rather than give value to this stuff, simply let it go. And direct. Its like we are addicted to giving our fears value, and are worries, that because this come up inside of us, that we must pay attention to it. So I will work on not doing this. But remaining cool...like even. And rather stick to breath, as in breath there are no thoughts, or worries or feelings and emotions. So stick to breath,simplicity and practical application, and stop trusting a fear comes up over trusting myself. Its like one tiny fear come up then I place it in a projector and project the thing massive like in the batman  movies when they project the batman symbol into the sky or onto a building. So rather than “stop the presses” when a thought comes up or an emotion or feeling,  Simply let it go, give no attention to and and let it whisp away  into nothingness. And continue to direct myself here within and as the physical and stop existing in the mind.

Environment Changing me is Not Actual Change.

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I was looking at the point of what we as human beings require consequence to change. Or why we has beings, as individuals require consequence to change. Now the reason I place it this way as I have noticed this point within me where I rather than actually will myself to change my nature I rather let it play out until I hit a consequence which will then bring me to a point of actually making a ‘serious’ consideration to change my application, my participation, my nature, my behavior, myself. I place the work ‘serious’ in quotes because even though when there is a consequence I must face which then “push me” to consider change ‘seriously’ I see that I have/had not yet gone deep enough or taken this point seriously enough because what I find is that I don’t actually change. But “forget about it” until the con-sequence come around again and it is the same point over again. So no matter how hard I look or take seriously the point of change, I end up forgetting and back to the same ol’ patterns. And even saying to myself to watch out for forgetting because I have been through that before, yet end up forgetting. When I left the Desteni Farm I was a different person. And what I have found is that since being back in Canada I have really faced myself. Because now from a certain perspective I am in the “Matrix”, lol, that sounds so epic, lol. So Here is how the story goes. I create myself within and in relation to and along with my environment for 26 years. Then, I am taken from that environment and placed into a completely new environment on the Desteni Farm. Then I start to apparently change which is all fine and cool, and I spend two years in this new environment and experience myself differently in that for this two years I participate within the world not like I had previously. Ok cool so now there is some “change occurring”. Then take me out of this new environment and place me back in my old environment and what do you suppose happens. I go back to how I was living before – So what does this show me. That I in fact had not changed. From a certain perspective there was a process of change occurring but within looking at the point I see that this was more of an external change where I was more changing in response to my environment as a kind of from the outside moving inward kind of change. So when the Environment changes then I change, seeing as how the “Change” I experienced on the Desteni Farm was largely from the outside in. I mean if would have taken a point on from the very centre core of myself and changed, more from the perspective of changing me from the very starting point of me...well not “from the perspective of” but rather had actually in fact gotten to the very beginning of me then it would not matter where you place me, and what environment I am in as the change that would be occurring would be from the inside out, and thus the change would be actually be a Self Change. So in many ways this is the point I am seeing with regards to how I have attempted change and that no matter how serious I am about it that I always end up forgetting, as the change is more of an idea and the one Key Factor I see that I am missing is Knowing who I am and actually living and existing as myself here within breath. Because if I am Not Here, then how is change supposed to happen if I am no where to be found, how then am I supposed to change. So from a certain perspective the point I am busy with now is not “changing” per se but rather ‘getting to self’ and being here with self, living and walking that self in every breath, so I can actually walk a point of change. And all it takes is one second and one moment to flee, to abandon myself and off into the mind, and actually not even realize it. I noticed even today I was not Here, yet I was almost Here – lol. Because when I am Here, I know it, but today there exist within me this “point off in the distance” like “what is that” and so I go just looking out over there, just trying to see what it is out there, and in this slight diversion I miss ME all day. So specific.