Exposing Unnecessary Fears in my Day to Day Living.

Tonight after work later in the evening I noticed a part of the text that my boss sent me earlier in the day before I had left from work that I did not give direction to. Fear immediately came up within me and my entire experience of myself shifted in that moment from being fine to suddenly being uncomfortable and possessed by the fear related to this point. There was a few different aspects to the fear. I forgot to properly cover up some bags of cement before rain had started to fall and to confirm that that was cool before I left for the day. The rain had already been falling for about 6.5 hours before I noticed that I missed this point so the damage could have already been done. A question that came up within me is, “Is it necessary to participate in this fear that I immediately went into / became possessed by” in that moment of realizing this missed point? The point that I see is no. There should never be any reason why one should accept and allow oneself to exist within fear. No matter what reason I looked at in terms of why I was actually going into fear; they simply were not valid for me to put myself through that experience instead of  letting the experience of fear go. The physical reality facts is still the way it is. It is more a matter of letting go of the fear attached to that scenario. This does not mean that I don't have to be practically responsible for my reality, it just mean that if I make a mistake I support myself to stop all self judgement related to the point and rather just focus on what is required to be directed practically. To fear about it does not fix it or actually make it worse or better. So then what is the purpose of the fear, and is it necessary? This event also showed me how simple it is for one to overlook or skip-over something that is required to be practically done and how that one tiny point could have quite a big consequence. Today’s point would have literally taken me 2 minutes to direct and in not doing this could have let allot of valuable resources and material get ruined. I did not ignore the point, I simply forgot. So this event showed me that I am able to be more specific and thorough within my moment to moment application. Also within this I see that even within the context of this event there is no valid justification for me to “go into fear” or Self Judgement, no matter what the stakes. Fear does not support me at all. The experience of existing in fear is not a cool experience at all and thus there is no reason why I should accept and allow myself to do this to myself. So yes, this event today brought up this point in relation to fear where I have been looking recently at my own experience of myself and that often my experience of me is not that pleasant and yet, it is me doing it to myself, and so investigating why I would accept and allow me to put myself through experiences within and as self that is really not cool, because that is backwards. Refusing to let go of an experience that is causing allot of discomfort. So I have been investigating this and working on actually letting go of these experiences of fear that is really not necessary to be in. So there is just a few aspects that came up today.

The “New Years Resolution Attitude” Towards Self Change.

Today I watched the video “ How Thoughts Create Physical Reality”. This is one of the many support videos that have been uploaded by Desteni as practical support videos to assist and support one to change / transform self and this world. And also initially to give one the opportunity to start understanding and have some actual insight into what it actually means to Change Self The point  I wanted to mention here is about our/humanities current perception and understanding of what Self Change is, which one is able to see within the point of the “NewYears Resolution” As I watched this video today (how thoughts create physical reality)  I was thinking to myself  “how is one actually supposed to change if they do not have the understanding which this video placed into perspective/context, in part along with all the other desteni videos/material and the entire desteni process, including the desteni i process courses, all of which is basically focused on the point of Self Change. This process of self change being in essence a 24/7 application that a being take on for oneself within seeing realizing the extent of dedication required to walk the point of self change. And not just reduce this point of self change into a momentary "nice idea" as a News Years Resolution type approach to changing self. So, it just makes me think about all of those NewYears Resolutions being made out there right now at the moment in preparation for the new year and changing self into a “better person” The Point of the New Years Resolution actually show at the moment our current  limited understanding as humanity of what it actually means / implies to change self. Where one can go literally the entire year without giving this point any attention to then attempt to add it into there lives as a new years resolution - It is really just like making the point of change just another fad like everything else in this consumer culture world. Lol - Next there will be an "App" for that - The instachange app - lol Instead of self change being  understood as a  day to day application of self, walked in dedication and willingness to give up 'who self has become' in order to recreate self, it has become a momentary application that only comes around once a year where there is this kind of build up of energy and one get all excited and decide to make a change in their life, but have very little practical understanding or context of what it is really going to take to change self and further more the degree of change which is in fact required in this world to create a world that is best for all, a world that is actually dignified to live in. So I suggest anyone serious about following through with your NewYears Resolution check out this video  “ How Thoughts Create Physical Reality” to get some perspective on how we have actually come to create ourselves as human beings as this will give some indication of what is actually required to change and transform self; and obviously to support self to realize that life should in fact be a consistent dedicated walking of self change and not just some fad that you can try out once in a year for a month or so as a “New Years Resolution” For information regarding the process of self change visit desteni.org To join the Desteni I Process visit desteniiprocess.com For Self Supportive Merchandise and Products visit Eqafe.com Featured Eqafe Product  

Writing as Self Support – My Fingers have a mind of their Own.

Ok, I am going to pick up on a point that I came across while writing last night which was the point of directing myself in relation to energy from the perspective of “energy” and “experience” of self, being the starting point of self movement. For some context Here is a quote by Bernard Poolman: “your real life on earth move by actual breath as time --from the first breath to the last breath - and breath determines the effectiveness of living on earth. The less you are aware of breathing, the more you will live in a system world where life is not honored and things like money will drive you. The more you live by breathing as timekeeper, the more you will notice the kazillions of nonhuman beings on earth.” So with regards to the point I mentioned above, this quote by Bernard Poolman offers a context for how one “should” direct and move self – That being rather by/within breath instead of as/within the mind as energy. Basically what I was looking at last night was that how there always seemed to be a kind of “anxiety” within myself that pushes me in this direction or that. Within this I found I was much less effective in what I was doing due to what I was doing being subject to this anxiety/energy/experience of myself that constantly push me and influence my moment to moment expression as living application. This point actually showed itself this morning as well as I sat down in front of the computer to write. I was simply sitting down to write as a point of self support. To just direct myself to write as a way to support me to start being able to see myself and become more aware of myself where in writing is a tool to develop self awareness and also self stability. Self stability from the perspective of supporting myself to slow down within and as myself and not spend all my time existing in the mind or in some experience of myself that is influencing me where I end up feeling like I am just along for the ride with no directive principle at all, with no ability to be deliberate and specific and directive within my expression what ever I might be doing, because there is this kind of force pushing/forcing me along and in this I end up skipping over things and rushing things and not being as specific and deliberate as I could and thus within a greater context end up creating and manifesting my world from the starting point of skipping over things, rushing and not being specific – thus this has implications that flow out into the very creation of my life/world/ as my immediate surroundings as well as the world as a whole – lol...Ok getting back to the point. Today as I sat down to write, I shot “out of the gates” like a race horse blasting towards the finish line. My fingers hardly keeping up. It wasn’t long before I lost track of what I was writing and everything became like one long drone or run on sentence where I experienced me as not really supporting myself in the writing anymore due to this point of feeling a bit “out of control” like my fingers and what I was writing had a mind of its own. So this is showing me that how I am more existing in mind in my world and that when I go to write, the mind attempt to assert itself as the governing principle of me – though what I have found is that the tool of writing supports in stabilization of self in by supporting the slowing down of self even though initially “out of the gates” or in other situations the mind attempt to position itself as the dominant directive principle, so yes, it will not be an automatic correction but like anything I see simply requires consistent application for effective support. This reminds me of a conversation I had with Bernard while I was in South Africa. This conversation was quite long, somewhere between 1 and 2 hours. During the discussion one of the points that was mentioned was how when I speak it’s like within myself my mind races way ahead and I end up trying to keep up with mind and in this my communication is not effective. I always enjoy seeing people who are very stable in their communication where they are “Here” within each breath as each word they speak and their mind is not just racing a mile a minute inside themselves going all different directions, but rather it is like they are stable and here and silent. In this their communication is much more effective and stable. So in essence this morning I see the point was “my mind” racing a mile a minute, and instead of stopping and slowing myself down, I ended up initially getting caught up with trying to chase down my mind or keep up with mind as it just races all over the place. For me that is one of the points in using writing as a tool to support me – The point being to assist and support myself to slow down and stabilize myself within me. So I am not constantly running around in my mind. And so in writing I can take the opportunity to slow myself and make sure I am not running/chasing after the mind but that I am here and specific and directive in the placement of my words. So will see how this develops – it has been a point that I have been working with since I started process – which is cool in itself because before process I had never even herd a practical description of this experience that was happening inside myself to be able to support me to even know where to begin to correct the point and become more effective in my communication and writing – So yes, the point I work with is stopping the mind/energy and rather writing from the perspective of being here as Breath. To reference again, this time a segment of the above quote by Bernard Poolman: “The less you are aware of breathing, the more you will live in a system world where life is not honored and things like money will drive you.” So when I started writing this morning I was not aware of my breathing and ended up being directed by the “system world” where I am “driven” by points other than Self.  Which is what I started this document off by writing about – This point I came across last night which was how I was seeing that I always seem to directed or influenced or moving myself in relation to some energy or experience of myself and rarely am I simply here directing myself within and as breath as a point of Self Direction – Self direction does not require energy or experience or some kind of anxiety to push self to move, but is rather Self moving, directing self as a Self Expression. So I can just continue to support myself through writing and developing the point of slowing down and also identifying such moments when I end up “trapped” within my mind, within the system world and being directed by this where there is like this kind of energy pushing and influencing me like pushing me through something instead of me just walking through a point breath by breath with no urge or pressure experience within myself to quickly get to the finish line.   Links: 2012 - New 21 Day Breathing Challenge - Interview done on utilizing breath as practical self support Desteni I Process - Self Development and Leadership Course Desteni.org   Support Products and Merchandise available now at the EQAFE.COM   Freedom Blogs  - Read Blogs by many destonians who have dedicated themselves to practical self support through writing regularly on various differen       No 1. Beginners - Thoughts, Writings, and Self Forgiveness - Covering here the basic points that self will face as one’s Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious Mind in initially starting walking one’s process of facing the Mind as self      

Looking at some points related to Communication and Writing.

Sometimes I experience a blank when I go to write. This has been occurring allot lately. I see that there is a point of self judgement where within judging what I am about to write actually keeps this “blankness” Here, as I judge what I am about to write or what I start writing and then might quickly erase it as I think to myself “no, no, no, thats not what I want to write about”. So I see this in fact a judgement which prevent me from actually moving from the starting line and exploring myself within writing. So rather I must support myself within moving through that which I am writing by not judging what I am writing or what is coming up in the moment. Because in some instances I will do this multiple times to the point where I eventually just close the document I am working on and do something else. So I will open a document and pause for a moment then say to myself in a way, “what shall I write about” Then a point, or sentence will come up within me and I will carry on to write this down but then get a few words in and pause and think, “nawww thats not good enough” and then I try and think of something else to write about. Then I will trap myself within this pattern instead of rather directing myself to just go with what comes up initially and not judge it. So today at work I was working with a co-worker and we were discussing different points related to the money system and human nature and just really touching on a few points and sharing perspectives. But I found myself to be quite frustrated in this because I find that I know actually so very little. Actually today I was pushing myself to speak up and assert myself a little more instead of holding back on giving my perspective, though it did not go that smoothly. I will continue to test this point out of expanding my communication through stepping outside of my normal programmed way of communicating and venture into some less explored waters where I will simply direct myself to speak where I normally would have kept quite. But after today this will require some adjustment already because in speaking up more I realized that “I don’t know shit” lol. Like I will start explaining something to someone and then realize as I start getting into the point “oh fuck, I actually don’t the necessary details to be able to explain the point. Like only having a surface idea of something but when it actually gets down to it my understanding is actually not at all sufficient on so many points that I believed that I had all sorted out. This made me realize that I must pay closer attention when I am reading an article so that when I go explaining a cool article to someone that I read just that same morning I don’t stop a few seconds in within the realization that, yes I read the article, but I do not remember shit about what it was actually about. It was like I wasn’t even reading it really, but only thought I was – LOL. Simply put – Pay more attention when I am reading and ensure that I have the comprehension of what is being presented in place so that if required I would be able to explain the main points of the article and give perspective on it. I asked myself today “what do I actually know” Because, ok, why not I just stick to communicating about stuff that I have a solid understanding about , and so I asked myself “what do I have a solid understanding about” and fuck – there is really not much. Particularly when it comes to certainties. Which is humbling. To see how much of my understanding and comprehension of reality is based on assumption. (ok one more point came up as I was writing my tags for this blog - It is the point of actually re-structuring my communication like for instance one must build the foundation for the house before they can build the house or put in the windows, and so today was like I was getting ahead of myself  instead of establishing building the necessary foundation / context for what I am communicating about.)  

Assessing Physical Body Tiredness – New Job

Went to work again today, I have started working at my new job, which is a landscaping job. So there is now an adjustment to my daily living activities, and so, yes, adjusting myself within my practical application from the perspective of now to ensure my “daily desteni duties” get done. While working this job. One of the more prominent adjustments to my life-style is now in relation to doing physical labour during the day, as I have notice the last two nights, my experience of me in relation to my physical body is quite different than before because I have worked physically during the day. And so my body is more tired when getting home and so am looking at this point currently. One aspect I see within this adjustment is to not accept or allow any excuse or justification to “sneak in” within and around this point of my human physical body being tired, and see specifically the difference between the point of my human physical body being tired, and my mind coming in and attempting to influence me within my application where in I will use the excuse that “I am tired” to not direct myself effectively. I have noticed this point already where I can see the mind come up saying “oh I am tired” “you need to rest” and things like this, so the point here is to simply be Self-Honest in the assessment of self in the moment and determine if / when the mind attempt to come in and influence self/me to distract me from my application.

Stop Mediocrity – Stand up For A More Effective Being – Desteni i Process

Stop Mediocrity - Stand up For A More Effective Being - Desteni i Process I have recently started a new job, and this means that I am now working with other beings. What I observed is that some of the considerations of the job, are...well, not being considered. Since I started walking/participating with Desteni now for some time, this has introduced me to certain ‘considerations’ of this reality that I had not taken into account before. And that I see others simply are completely unaware of. What I see as that these considerations I now look at within certain moments or instances are as such related to my participation with desteni and what desteni stand for, that being, to put it in a single phrase, "what is best for all" Through my participation with desteni I have stopped many of those “small habits”  that are very likely a part of most humans beings general acceptances with regards to who they have become and how they express themselves and live in this world...I mean if everyone else is letting it slide, why not I let it slide to. And slowly but surely we have created, developed, and built ourselves within this world as this world within the point of ‘letting things slide” or “getting to it later” and this has become us to the core where now it is nearly impossible to stop these “little habits” which are in essence a mark of our laziness as a human race which we have accepted and allowed ourselves to stand as. Literally Humanity has really let itself go, and now is standing/applying itself from a certain perspective as the manifestation of Laziness. So I noticed this point coming through at work today where for instance I would observe a co-worker “let something slide” where within myself I see how I used to do the exact same thing, not actually grasping the full scope of what this seemingly innocent act of “letting something slide” is actually implying. So what I was even more seeing here was not that my co-worker was letting something slide, but that, I, WAS NOT letting it slide, and that I simply cannot allow such a point as I see that this is self compromise and me allowing myself to allow another to compromise themselves, rather than taking on the point of Self Perfection, Taking Self Responsibility in this world and creating a new being and and new world that actually care for itself and love thy neighbor. Too long we as humanity have been letting the little things slide. Its like we just, in a single moment, let it happen, and pretend we didn’t see it. Well I work today, I did see it and I refuse to “let it slide” as I Know this road. I have been down that path of letting it slide and I simply cannot accept and allow this from myself any longer as I know what kind of being this creates. And what kind of experience this creates. Rather I push me to instead, stop the excuses and justifications and push self to get it done, and not accept or allow any limitation of self as to why I would not direct that which is required to be directed in the moment as it come up. We require to clean up this mess of a world and it is not ever going to happen if we continuously allow ourselves to cut corners, because this is actually impossible to do. One can only cut corners when it comes to money, and because of this, this has allowed one to believe that they 'escaped' and 'are in the clear', not considering that one is not actually able to cut corners but that there will be a consequence. So when it was time to leave work today, there was still tools that were laying about and my co-worker was eager to get going. I stood looking at all this and could not accept this, yet I see that there is a point of compromise still occurring here where I am not adamant and immediate in directing the point yet but allowing my co-worker to have the benefit of the doubt, or hesitating, and thus see to push myself to that point of immediate direction where I am directing me towards, where in I do NOT accept and allowing myself to stand as anything Less than what I am actually capable of doing, directing and becoming. I also looked at this point as me showing a lack of self value as who I am as a being that is in fact standing as what is best for all and thus accepting nothing less than this and there-in, being certain within my decision making to not allow abuse and self compromise to take place, where in for instance I assert myself and to no more accept and allow myself to hold back or take a more "submissive role", even when I see clearly that to simply accept this other persons way of doing things is effectively compromising myself and another.  So I did see myself pushing this point today of where I allowed myself to push my self-effectiveness and will not simply compromise or diminish myself because "that’s just the way things work" kind of thing. So will continue to do this at work, and rather than reduce myself down to a lesser application to make everyone else 'happy', rather I stand stable within my application and within this push beings to direct themselves more effectively and from my perspective this is actually what real happiness is anyways, where the being experience a certain degree of self confidence that they actually pushed themselves beyond their limitations so to speak. And this is a Life that I would rather Live and thus will live and accept nothing less than this from myself. Its time to stop diminishing myself just to be nice and fit in. This is absolute compromise and a perfect way to allow nothing to ever change. If you are interested in becoming a highly effective being in this world and are tired of the mediocrity and limitation that this world accepts / promotes as who we are – Investigate the “Desteni I Process” And begin the process of the creation of self as a dignified honorable effective being that is actually here supporting life and doing what it is Best for ALL to ensure that all beings are properly cared for and supported equally as the next, so that ALL live a dignified life and not just a few with money. http://desteniiprocess.com/

Breathe and Let it Go.

I started my job today. I have been waiting for this day to come up as now there will likely be a transformation of sorts taking place in terms of my normal day to day. So should be cool actually. Simply breath through the transition. And not get caught up in any reactions/thoughts that come up inside of me. I have noticed this lately that if/when a thought, or an emotion, or feeling come up that it is like I have a bullseye on it immediately instead of rather just breathing and letting it go. So no need to give a thought, feeling, emotion, fear, worry, any more value or importance than needed. In fact the point is to not give it any attention/value but to simply just breathe, let it go and continue. Its like the point of “fearing your own fear” like fearing fear that has not even come up yet – lolol. Walking on egg shells. Like if for example one thought come up or a fear or something and thinking its the end of the world, or for that matter, if a bunch of thoughts come up or fears come up, rather than give value to this stuff, simply let it go. And direct. Its like we are addicted to giving our fears value, and are worries, that because this come up inside of us, that we must pay attention to it. So I will work on not doing this. But remaining cool...like even. And rather stick to breath, as in breath there are no thoughts, or worries or feelings and emotions. So stick to breath,simplicity and practical application, and stop trusting a fear comes up over trusting myself. Its like one tiny fear come up then I place it in a projector and project the thing massive like in the batman  movies when they project the batman symbol into the sky or onto a building. So rather than “stop the presses” when a thought comes up or an emotion or feeling,  Simply let it go, give no attention to and and let it whisp away  into nothingness. And continue to direct myself here within and as the physical and stop existing in the mind.