Category Archives: Recreation of Self – Desteni I Process

Looking at some points related to Communication and Writing.

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Sometimes I experience a blank when I go to write. This has been occurring allot lately. I see that there is a point of self judgement where within judging what I am about to write actually keeps this “blankness” Here, as I judge what I am about to write or what I start writing and then might quickly erase it as I think to myself “no, no, no, thats not what I want to write about”. So I see this in fact a judgement which prevent me from actually moving from the starting line and exploring myself within writing. So rather I must support myself within moving through that which I am writing by not judging what I am writing or what is coming up in the moment. Because in some instances I will do this multiple times to the point where I eventually just close the document I am working on and do something else. So I will open a document and pause for a moment then say to myself in a way, “what shall I write about” Then a point, or sentence will come up within me and I will carry on to write this down but then get a few words in and pause and think, “nawww thats not good enough” and then I try and think of something else to write about. Then I will trap myself within this pattern instead of rather directing myself to just go with what comes up initially and not judge it. So today at work I was working with a co-worker and we were discussing different points related to the money system and human nature and just really touching on a few points and sharing perspectives. But I found myself to be quite frustrated in this because I find that I know actually so very little. Actually today I was pushing myself to speak up and assert myself a little more instead of holding back on giving my perspective, though it did not go that smoothly. I will continue to test this point out of expanding my communication through stepping outside of my normal programmed way of communicating and venture into some less explored waters where I will simply direct myself to speak where I normally would have kept quite. But after today this will require some adjustment already because in speaking up more I realized that “I don’t know shit” lol. Like I will start explaining something to someone and then realize as I start getting into the point “oh fuck, I actually don’t the necessary details to be able to explain the point. Like only having a surface idea of something but when it actually gets down to it my understanding is actually not at all sufficient on so many points that I believed that I had all sorted out. This made me realize that I must pay closer attention when I am reading an article so that when I go explaining a cool article to someone that I read just that same morning I don’t stop a few seconds in within the realization that, yes I read the article, but I do not remember shit about what it was actually about. It was like I wasn’t even reading it really, but only thought I was – LOL. Simply put – Pay more attention when I am reading and ensure that I have the comprehension of what is being presented in place so that if required I would be able to explain the main points of the article and give perspective on it. I asked myself today “what do I actually know” Because, ok, why not I just stick to communicating about stuff that I have a solid understanding about , and so I asked myself “what do I have a solid understanding about” and fuck – there is really not much. Particularly when it comes to certainties. Which is humbling. To see how much of my understanding and comprehension of reality is based on assumption. (ok one more point came up as I was writing my tags for this blog - It is the point of actually re-structuring my communication like for instance one must build the foundation for the house before they can build the house or put in the windows, and so today was like I was getting ahead of myself  instead of establishing building the necessary foundation / context for what I am communicating about.)  

Dream Revealing Where I have Separated Myself.

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Ok so I was just writing about a point which came up in a dream last night. This point has to do with how I have abdicated myself from certain aspects of myself and projected them onto/into agreement, where now what comes up is an experience of desire for, and yearning and wanting for an agreement or relationship, though within investigating and opening this point up for myself I see that what I am yearning for here is that “experience” that came up in the dream last night, though have separated from me within believing that this experience can only be had within an agreement and that I must get or find an agreement to fulfil me within my specific yearnings instead of actually “giving these points to myself” There was a moment in the dream last night where I embraced, hugged another being. Within this, I totally let go, and really sunk into the experience of the embracing, hugging. I experienced the point from the perspective of as if I have/had been traveling, walking a great distance and finally got to that moment where i could just let go, and stop, and relax and breathe. Like I had arrived. Finally, and I can just for a moment let go. It was sooooo nice. One aspect that has come up as I have wrote about this point is the aspect of how I have defined the point of relationship and agreement and what I have accepted and allowed me to believe about this. One element here has to do with an agreement/relationship making everything easier. Like its easier to have another being around. And also from the perspective of money where with an agreement/relationship, even this point of money and survival become easier to deal with. So from a certain perspective, the experience I had in the dream last night while embracing and hugging the other being had to do with feeling safe, and protected. Like a kind of hiding where I could, can for a moment forget about all the worlds problems, and even in a way, dump all my problems (abdicate my self responsibility) onto this being, and that they will make me feel better and make me safe and protect me and all this stuff. Fuck, actually allot of separation here. I see that the point is to reclaim my power within these aspects that I have abdicated to the point of agreement/relationship, and realize that this experience I had within the dream last night is an experience so to speak, that I can provide for myself alone, and that I can stop projecting these aspects outside self, but rather start to investigate how I can transform my experience of me within the expression / application of self to include these points which I have separated from myself.

Assessing Physical Body Tiredness – New Job

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Went to work again today, I have started working at my new job, which is a landscaping job. So there is now an adjustment to my daily living activities, and so, yes, adjusting myself within my practical application from the perspective of now to ensure my “daily desteni duties” get done. While working this job. One of the more prominent adjustments to my life-style is now in relation to doing physical labour during the day, as I have notice the last two nights, my experience of me in relation to my physical body is quite different than before because I have worked physically during the day. And so my body is more tired when getting home and so am looking at this point currently. One aspect I see within this adjustment is to not accept or allow any excuse or justification to “sneak in” within and around this point of my human physical body being tired, and see specifically the difference between the point of my human physical body being tired, and my mind coming in and attempting to influence me within my application where in I will use the excuse that “I am tired” to not direct myself effectively. I have noticed this point already where I can see the mind come up saying “oh I am tired” “you need to rest” and things like this, so the point here is to simply be Self-Honest in the assessment of self in the moment and determine if / when the mind attempt to come in and influence self/me to distract me from my application.

Stop Mediocrity – Stand up For A More Effective Being – Desteni i Process

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Stop Mediocrity - Stand up For A More Effective Being - Desteni i Process I have recently started a new job, and this means that I am now working with other beings. What I observed is that some of the considerations of the job, are...well, not being considered. Since I started walking/participating with Desteni now for some time, this has introduced me to certain ‘considerations’ of this reality that I had not taken into account before. And that I see others simply are completely unaware of. What I see as that these considerations I now look at within certain moments or instances are as such related to my participation with desteni and what desteni stand for, that being, to put it in a single phrase, "what is best for all" Through my participation with desteni I have stopped many of those “small habits”  that are very likely a part of most humans beings general acceptances with regards to who they have become and how they express themselves and live in this world...I mean if everyone else is letting it slide, why not I let it slide to. And slowly but surely we have created, developed, and built ourselves within this world as this world within the point of ‘letting things slide” or “getting to it later” and this has become us to the core where now it is nearly impossible to stop these “little habits” which are in essence a mark of our laziness as a human race which we have accepted and allowed ourselves to stand as. Literally Humanity has really let itself go, and now is standing/applying itself from a certain perspective as the manifestation of Laziness. So I noticed this point coming through at work today where for instance I would observe a co-worker “let something slide” where within myself I see how I used to do the exact same thing, not actually grasping the full scope of what this seemingly innocent act of “letting something slide” is actually implying. So what I was even more seeing here was not that my co-worker was letting something slide, but that, I, WAS NOT letting it slide, and that I simply cannot allow such a point as I see that this is self compromise and me allowing myself to allow another to compromise themselves, rather than taking on the point of Self Perfection, Taking Self Responsibility in this world and creating a new being and and new world that actually care for itself and love thy neighbor. Too long we as humanity have been letting the little things slide. Its like we just, in a single moment, let it happen, and pretend we didn’t see it. Well I work today, I did see it and I refuse to “let it slide” as I Know this road. I have been down that path of letting it slide and I simply cannot accept and allow this from myself any longer as I know what kind of being this creates. And what kind of experience this creates. Rather I push me to instead, stop the excuses and justifications and push self to get it done, and not accept or allow any limitation of self as to why I would not direct that which is required to be directed in the moment as it come up. We require to clean up this mess of a world and it is not ever going to happen if we continuously allow ourselves to cut corners, because this is actually impossible to do. One can only cut corners when it comes to money, and because of this, this has allowed one to believe that they 'escaped' and 'are in the clear', not considering that one is not actually able to cut corners but that there will be a consequence. So when it was time to leave work today, there was still tools that were laying about and my co-worker was eager to get going. I stood looking at all this and could not accept this, yet I see that there is a point of compromise still occurring here where I am not adamant and immediate in directing the point yet but allowing my co-worker to have the benefit of the doubt, or hesitating, and thus see to push myself to that point of immediate direction where I am directing me towards, where in I do NOT accept and allowing myself to stand as anything Less than what I am actually capable of doing, directing and becoming. I also looked at this point as me showing a lack of self value as who I am as a being that is in fact standing as what is best for all and thus accepting nothing less than this and there-in, being certain within my decision making to not allow abuse and self compromise to take place, where in for instance I assert myself and to no more accept and allow myself to hold back or take a more "submissive role", even when I see clearly that to simply accept this other persons way of doing things is effectively compromising myself and another.  So I did see myself pushing this point today of where I allowed myself to push my self-effectiveness and will not simply compromise or diminish myself because "that’s just the way things work" kind of thing. So will continue to do this at work, and rather than reduce myself down to a lesser application to make everyone else 'happy', rather I stand stable within my application and within this push beings to direct themselves more effectively and from my perspective this is actually what real happiness is anyways, where the being experience a certain degree of self confidence that they actually pushed themselves beyond their limitations so to speak. And this is a Life that I would rather Live and thus will live and accept nothing less than this from myself. Its time to stop diminishing myself just to be nice and fit in. This is absolute compromise and a perfect way to allow nothing to ever change. If you are interested in becoming a highly effective being in this world and are tired of the mediocrity and limitation that this world accepts / promotes as who we are – Investigate the “Desteni I Process” And begin the process of the creation of self as a dignified honorable effective being that is actually here supporting life and doing what it is Best for ALL to ensure that all beings are properly cared for and supported equally as the next, so that ALL live a dignified life and not just a few with money. http://desteniiprocess.com/