2012: My Art Studio Process – Day 3 : There is no Secret Ingredient

I am continuing with my Art Studio Process Blogs where by I am writing on my experiences and points that come up in relation to my process of working in my Art Studio this month. So far since being back in a studio for the past 3 days it has been interesting to see different points coming up again that used to be a part of me/my experience in the past as I participated within this whole Art Point and being “The Artist” and playing this entire role. Because that is just it, “The Artist” is actually a kind of Personality that one construct and participate in. A suit that one put on, an ‘idea’ that one “take on” as oneself and live the entire ‘role’ of “The-Artist”. Yet it is not in fact real, Particularly within the context of who one is really existing as, and what really goes on inside self. When one look at what actually goes on inside one’s mind, it is far from the idea one creates about oneself as “The Artist” or any other Personality that one live out. Sex, Money, Competition, winning, Survival, jealousy, do I look good in these clothes... This is who people actually are and no matter what personality you project and act out, We are all the same, Walking Egos only concerned about ourselves, concerned about surviving, Not seeing and not caring about the millions dying around us everyday. Our personality software does not included in its programming anything to do with the people that die daily of starvation...unless you are walking some saviour philanthropist personality -  thus these apparent unique personalities we have are really quite delusion when one realize that we are all just concerned with the same Self Interested shit as everyone else and if one is self honest would realize that “greatness” cannot exist within a world where so much Suffering and Abuse gets completely ignored. “The Artist” is not real. Being/living the Artist is simply another way to separate ourselves from each other trying to become something more, something exalted. I see this as trying to superimpose value onto yourself without actually living self value. It is like a short cut. We take on these personality suits as a way to create a fictional perception of value instead of actually valuing ourselves though honouring life and ourselves in fact by walking/living what is best for all in every moment. If we actually value ourselves we would not require to try and build ourselves up all the time by creating special ideas about ourselves as being some superhero with special abilities. I even seen this point come up today as I painted and I noticed myself starting to generate this idea about myself and about my art being unique and special...Though when I really stand back, it is just a picture depicting some stuff hanging on a wall, nothing miraculous like is so easily able to be perceived. This is a point that I trapped myself within previously as I walked the whole art point. I projected “special value” onto art I saw. I remember going to Italy and looking at the Art Works by the Master Artists and I was in search for that magical special ingredient that I believed actually existed and is what made a masterpiece a masterpiece. I had a similar experience to this when I tried out meditation and would sit and close my eyes and trying to relax ....like the spiritual guru who stresses himself out because they really really want to be relaxed and zen like. Though Humanity is really good in believing in shit that is not there – This may be an indication of how we are able to continue living day in and day out believing that “everything is ok” meanwhile the world and our lives are all falling apart around us.   I have realized that  there is no special meaning or value or ingredient that makes a masterpiece. It is literally just pictures on walls which we have attached special value to but that obviously is not special as how can specialness exist in a world where we watch human beings starve to death on the television and then switch to see who’s on the red carpet and seeing the score on the game. And so the same with the Art that I make. The point is not to create and project some special value onto it that is not really there. That is delusional, that is Ego. Or to, through the Art, by projecting special meaning onto it, create an idea about myself as being unique and special. I am me. I am who I really am, I am what really goes on inside me. The truth of me, the real me that exist underneath all the beliefs I have about myself. Thus the point is to not create ideas about myself but get to that real stuff of who I am exiting as and work with that. That real shit that we ALL are, no different from one another.   So yes, I noticed this point of me going into this point of projecting special value onto the art I have been making where I perceive it to be something special. Like the singers who go to audition for American Idol or some show like that and they believe that they are good at singing but when they get to the audition, it turns out that they are actually not able sing, (from a technical perspective) yet they themselves believed they were great at singing? At least that is what I was seeing when I would watch some of those auditions – Though in relation to what I am doing with the art – The point is to not project onto the art something that is not there at all, and in this keep it practical and keep it physical. A painting is not going to magically save the world. Unless of course you believe in Ascension and 2012 and being saved by some miracle, then you might still believe in the whole art thing, that “Art” actually really exist, when “Art” is in fact “Ego” as it is just an idea of values and meanings created and projected onto stuff. www.desteni.org www.eqafe.com

The longer we wait, The longer It Takes. How Long Will it Take To Change The World

The system / the world I live in is all around me. It is the way it is because it is exactly what we have created, either deliberately/ in awareness  or through implication / unawareness. At times I get frustrated with the System / This world and how I must interact with it in what I have to/must do to survive in it. Nothing will ever change unless deliberate physical actions/direction is given/taken by ourselves to change the system. Every moment we do nothing is simply prolonging the moment when we are Free because we have created a system / world that is actually best for us / what we would like. How long will it actually take to transform this system we live in completely and absolutely so that it support and honour all life and self expression. So that it actually support our functionality and existence within such a system, so that we are not “fighting” or “Struggling” with the system where it makes our lives more difficult. A System that makes our lives more difficult shows a lack of intelligence. How long will it actually take to re-create the entire world/system from the perspective of changing/transforming that which is “man-made” into a structure that function in such a way that it allows us to actually do what we all common sensically would like to do with ourselves in our life on earth. That is simply enjoy ourselves here, have fun.  Explore, Expand, Investigate ourselves and the world we live in, Being Free to simply be Here. Take a look at so many individuals in this world living their life, working their job, earning their money. What does their life consist of? When/Where are they taking part in bringing forth a New System That will actually support us on this earth or have they accepted the current system and simply have created Their Life and are now set/locked into their “Life”...Working their job, going on holiday, buying products, buying a house, setting themselves up in the current system so that they can functionally exist until they Die. So many simply live in this system, and have no idea how it is created or how they contribute to this creation. They have simply accepted the general layout and structure of things and attempt to make it work for them the best they can. I see that nothing will ever change if we as individuals do nothing to change it. I would suggest to have a look at your expression/ participation in your day to day living, and ask yourself “where are you going with this” ask yourself “what will this lead to” What are we doing here. What is the point of existing – To exist within a closed cycle within the current system until we are dead? Are we happy with how the System Currently Function? Happy with millions of people starving to death Happy with slave labour Happy with working a job we don’t even like because its “all that’s available” Happy to have “the weekend”  2 days a week where we are  apparently “free” from our lives/responsibilities. Happy to always struggle with, fight with and fear money. Happy to give up our hobbies and what we really enjoy doing as self expression because we must dedicate more time “making money” Happy to live in a world which we are constantly trying to escape. That is the current life that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live. Lets Rather Create a World that we do not want to escape from = Common Sense. But are grateful and appreciative to exist within. A world where We want to be Here. The longer we wait, The longer we wait. Every moment is a moment to take physical practical direction in bringing forth a new world, a new system.   For more information with regards to understanding how to Re-Create Yourself please visit the Desteni Website desteni.co.za   Desteni also offer a comprehensive course which practically assist one to begin the process of self creation/transformation where one will discover/learn/ become aware of how one actually “create” themselves and this world, thus providing a practical foundation for one to be able to in fact support the creation of a World and a Self that is Best for ALL. Desteniiprocess.com One is also able to Support the Emergence of a New System based on the principle of “What is Best For ALL” by purchasing exclusive products such as Books, Interviews, Music available at the Equality Store. http://store.desteni.org/  Featured Products at Equality Store

My Experience Living and Working in the System

I have been back living “in the System” now for about a year since I left the Desteni Farm. So I am going to talk a little bit about my experience over the last year and basically living and working in the system and earning money. My current job is Landscaping. This is where a crew of 5 of us design and build up yards for all the new houses of people (normally with allot of money) who have just purchased a house and now want a nice yard match. So often we are doing landscaping in some really rich neighbourhoods for people with allot of money. I have had 5 jobs over the last year I worked as a treeplanter, which was a job I did 4 years ago also. It is the hardest job I have ever done, and have found, so if you ever here of someone doing treeplanting, no that they have really toughed it out likely in some challenging situations. I worked on a Horse Ranch – I got this job through looking through listings and I applied to the listing. I quite after 2 months because the people running the ranch were not nice and would “vent” their own frustration out on who ever was around (me) Luckily I live in a Canada which means I do have a bit of choice when it comes to jobs and do not have to simply stand there and take other peoples abuse. The other guy that worked on the farm was an illegal immigrant from mexico, He has less choice and I am sure takes allot of shit from those people because he cannot just leave as easily as I was able to. I worked in a “high-end” furniture store where they sell expensive furniture to rich people. I put together the furniture and moved heavy things around and vacuumed the floors. I got paid over double minimum wage there and worked there for about 9 months about 4 or 5 days a month. I did Snow Removal in the winter. I did this on my own, and put out an add on the internet, and then people called me and I took care of their snow removal for the winter – This got me through the winter. Landscaping – I got this job by looking through listings online and applying by sending in my resume and cover letter. Then I went for an interview. This is the job I work at now. It will be over when the snow starts falling, so will have to find another job for the winter, so will see what comes up then. My experience living and working in the system has been...the word “stressful” comes up. One aspect of this is because I am basically on my own, and if I do not come up with money, it will not come from somewhere else. Although I do have some family members which if things get really tough I can ask for a loan. When winter ended this year, my van broke down. This was basically right when I started my new landscaping job so I had not yet started working many hours so not enough income to buy a new car. I asked my dad for a loan which he agreed, and I bought a cheap car to get me around while working and am busy paying him back. Oh yes this is due to having “bad credit” due to overdue Student Loan payments and thus could not get purchase a car on credit. So yes I have moved around a bit, in terms of jobs. The place where I live has been quite stable which is cool. I am grateful for this. I rent a room in a house and the people I live with are around my age and we get along fine. One thing I have noticed. Living in this world is ALL ABOUT MONEY. Its all about getting money. And then with money you make your life “better” And this is “THE GOAL” The Purpose to Life – What I complete fuck-up. In the System You can buy things and move around a with more ease if you have money. I have found this extensively. That Money is that which allows you to move and interact with the system. As soon as the money starts to run dry, it is very difficult to move, function and flow within the system, and you simply become an ineffective participant/member of society if you do not have money to allow you to move and from a certain perspective BREATHE within the system. That is what I have found. The more money I have, the more I am able to relax and breathe and enjoy myself. When there is no money everything just cramps up. Money is literally like Water, from the perspective of if you do not have water, your body just tense, and cramp up and dehydrate. It is the same with money. If you do not have it, you kind of tense up and contract. So working my landscaping job has been interesting because you see these men and women; mostly men walking around in their nice suits and business clothes and making likely hundreds of thousands of dollars annually.  Even millions. And they are driving the nice cars and making their yard look nice and basically living there life. And thats it. There is no consideration or awareness of anything else but this. “Thats what Life is” Everyone in the system completely accepts the system and from a certain perspective is completely fine with it. Everybody works for money. Nothing moves without money. We have really fucked this world up, where someone would rather stand around and do absolutely nothing as long as they are getting paid rather than do some activity which actually support them as a being. When I was on the Desteni Farm, I directed myself to support what was busy going on. When I built a shelf or prepared food, it was to “support” others. I was not doing this to get money, And thus my consideration/ starting point when I looked to see if there was anything to do, was “How Can I Support The Environment in the Best Way. Is there anything that requires to be done to make our living Experience more effective, and supportive.  I mean holy fuck. Imagine how many times a day I took on this consideration and now think about this actually then start to shape and form who that human being becomes as this point is practiced over and over – Then you have The Current System where what people practice over and over again, is not looking at the world or their environment to see what will best support that environment but rather “How can I make Money” and Thus, there you have it. This one way how our current system is really fucking up human beings where our entire beingness become certered and focused on MONEY and How to Make Money. I mean I would not want to be stuck on a Island with one of those beings, but rather with a being who is always looking for what will best support ALL and to make the environment a practical living space. This is why I support an Equal Money System. Because within an Equal Money System we will be able to bring the point of “what is best for all” into the foreground where human beings actually start to consider how to direct themselves in a way which support earth, and others and the actual practical living environment instead of only being able to look at the world through the filter of “how can I make money” which in a way blind a person from contributing anything of actual real value to this earth.    

The Way Of The Destonian

I went and voted today in our Canadian Election. I had some resistance to doing this simply out of laziness, and I could see I had no real reason to not go. I had some back-chat excuses that came up, like “It is pointless” or “ it doesn’t matter anyways” or “its to late anyways” or “you don’t have the right ID” But With the Tools that I have now been developing / applying within the "Desteni I Process" I could see that I was resisting and simply attempting to come up with some excuse to justify me not going, which was not acceptable and thus I did not accept such excuses and pushed myself to go. This has been a cool point with the Desteni I Process, where in, within participating with DIP, one actually start to become more aware of themselves and how they are actually creating their reality, and thus stop accepting and allowing themselves to essentially just be slaves to their thoughts, feelings and emotions, but rather start becoming more directive and effective within their world. Particularly how we as human beings exist as and consist of primarily Excuses and Justifications, and that this has become our way of being, and so with Desteni I Process one actually start to take on this beingness of self and begin the process of developing self that Stand Up For Life and stop the excuses and start taking Responsibility for themselves, this earth, and what is here. I went over with my roommate and we both voted. As we walked into the school where we were to vote there were some kids there making some comments with regards to us being there voting, like “thanks for voting” and cheering and things, lol. Its funny, voting is considered the “right thing to do”, like if you vote, than you are good and responsible, and if you do not vote than you are bad and an outcast. The Kids thanking us for voting obviously had no idea what voting is actually about and were basically just saying that stuff because they believed that if they did, they would get approval of some kind or that they were doing "the right thing". Its sad that we are programming children this way, to speak and act in ways that they do not understand, but are only trained to believe, with no background as to why it is that way. They are trained to simply accept something as right because their parents or some adult says, “that is right and that is wrong” without actually giving the child the understanding as the actual specific workings, details and context of why something is right or wrong. It is simply – “that is right and that is wrong, and do not question me”. And in this we DESTROY Life and DESTROY Children. This world is such a mess. Voting is such a mess. Why not just teach every individual on earth how the earth actually works and bring everyone to the same understanding so that it is absolutely clear to all individuals what is required to be done to ensure the effective management of this earth in terms of what is best for all. In this we would not have to endure the election process where you simply have world leaders attempting to convince individuals that they have the best answer though within all of this - The Entire Picture is never seen nor understood. Its all about 'maybes' and 'what if's', 'opinions' Politicians along with everyone else have come to such a complacent acceptance of this world and the way it is and no more see how ABSURD it actually is. Like for example having locks on your car door so that nothing gets stolen. This is so common, to have locks on your car door. So that we can lock the car at night or when we go into the store so we do not get robbed. This is strange. There should be no reason for Locks. Human Begins should actually walk/live in self respect and dignity and treat all other humans with dignity as they themselves would want to be treated. At the moment locks on your car door is simply accepted by everyone and no one seems to notice what this is implying – Everyone Still existing within a “that’s just the way it is” mind-set, so much so that they will argue for this and not consider it possible to live in a world where such seemingly normal things a locks and locking your car door is not necessary because each being on earth would actually honor one another, and not need or require to steal anything. Most people are this way and are quick to say – Its not possible to create such a world, where humans no longer steal and cheat and lie. There is however a group that simply does not accept such limitations. There is a group that SEE that for example we should not have to lock are doors at night, that it is actually possible to bring forth a world without war, poverty, a group who are not accepting the limitation that “its just human nature and there is nothing that can be done” I stand with this group, as I see that I cannot stand with such a world that accept such atrocious acts and ways of living to be “just how it is” Utter Bull-shit this is. This Group is Desteni, and I stand with this group because I much prefer to stand with beings who push for self respect, dignity and a world that is Best for ALL. One aspect I enjoy about participating with Destonians is I do not have to manipulate anyone when I speak to them or deal with them trying to deceive and manipulate me, to get an fix or energy as an energetic high to fuel their ego. These EGO EXCHANGES are much less within the Destonian Community and I find this allows for myself to be able to actually breath and relax and enjoy my experience. There literally is a Kindness that comes through with the desteni group, A kindness that is extremely rare in this world. And I am not talking about “people who are nice to you” I am talking about people who understand themselves and their experience of self in such a way where they are not constantly projecting their inner suppressed anger, frustrations and bull-shit onto you. I mean you can be as nice as you want but behind this be actually having nasty thoughts about the person and blaming the person for all sorts of stuff. This is really not cool and I find this is how this world exit. At desteni Each one is willing to take responsibility for themselves to the utmost degree and take responsibility for each thought that come up and all that is going on inside themselves. Because of this I don’t have to constantly be on the look out for beings projecting their shit onto me or another or blaming me or another, because Destonians are actually standing up and taking responsibility for themselves, where in fact I have found literally no one in this world that does this or is even aware of the point of taking absolute self responsibility for themselves and what goes on inside themselves. I am not saying that it never happens, because this is a process, though it is definitely a relief to be interacting with beings that are aware of this point of taking absolute self responsibility for everything of themselves and essentially all that is HERE. I mean this is fucking cool shit, participating with Beings that are Willing to Take Absolute FULL Responsibility for ALL that is Here, for all that exist on this Earth. Each One standing within this point and taking this point on and not accepting excuses or saying “why should I have to take responsibility for someone else” So Yes, I much rather participate with Beings who will NOT accept any such excuse But simply see the common sense in Standing Up and taking responsibility for ALL that is HERE, no matter what. I mean From this perspective Destonians Really Get Shit Done and do not ever pass the responsibility off to someone else saying “oh its not my responsibility” If you are tired of a world where all that exist are excuses and justifications, and limitations, suggest to investigate the Desteni I Process - http://desteniiprocess.com/ Because this is the training to educate ourselves to actually become Responsible Individuals to the utmost Degree, accepting no more excuses or justifications, but just Getting it Done. No more accepting this world that we have created, and such points as having to lock are doors at night – I mean com’on people, what is the point of giving up on that which you really actually want this world to be like. Like the way you expected it to be when you were a child, where you actually had the freedom to express yourself - That is if you were not dying of starvation somewhere. At Desteni we are a group of individuals who are not accepting this world how it is and are coming together to bring about a change. At the moment one of the Primary Goals is the bringing about of an Equal Money System , where we actually replace the current money system with an New Equal Money System. And before you accept that experience within yourself coming up as you read this where you simply dismiss this or believe this is not possible – I would suggest to consider the point that in dismissing the equal money system, you are essentially implying that you agree with this current world, of crime, war, extensive poverty, child labour , starvation, stress of money, and basically struggling to survive each day. As long as we stand by this current world the way it is – nothing will ever change, and from my perspective, I have had enough of this world and thus participate fully in the Bringing forth of an equal money system, and a world that is actually the world we have always wanted to live in, and that supports ALL individuals to live and express and explore themselves. Equal Money Website – www.equalmoney.org Become a Destonian – http://desteniiprocess.com/ Desteni Main Website – www.desteni.co.za

We Require New Breed of Politicans and World Leaders.

  I am continuing my investigation into the Canadian Political System, particularly the election process, as I follow the latest election that is underway here in Canada. Today I am going to take a look at a statement made by Liberal Party leader Micheal Ignatieff within his unveiling of what is called “The Learning Passport” which is a proposed program which gives extra funding to those enrolled and who will be enrolling in post secondary education. What I find to be quite interesting as I continue to follow the election is the “short-sightedness” of our political leaders and for that matter the people who are not only going along with this but also cheering their favourite candidate, no matter if what is being presented as ‘solutions’ is nothing more than an attempt to fix or make better our current system but that is in fact missing the point entirely of what is required to actually bring forth an actual permanent change to this world that will support in establishing a management system that support the betterment of man and the well being of all that is here. So to help illustrate this ‘shortsightedness’ that I have been observing within the debates, topics, discussions, policies, of the election thus far I will focus on a statement made by the Leader of the Liberal Party in his unveiling his educational program. I understand that it is not to blame politicians because from a certain perspective they are perhaps making the best out of what they had available to them such as education or family environment or the social system they were raised etc...Though at this point in time it is becoming clear that the world we have created is quite a mess, and we are going to require not just amendments to the current system but rather quite a drastic transformation of what is here in order to bring about a world that is actually dignified and ultimately valid in terms of considering the point of continuing our existence as a race. because I mean at this current rate, I am finding it difficult to justify at all why we are even Here on this planet if all we are going to do is abuse it and abuse ourselves,  and each other. So thus we need to drastically shift our political considerations, which from my perspective will take many years of re-education to effectively detangle from within ourselves the embedded belief systems/strucutres which our current politicians are at the moment acting within and that in fact only cause and create more harm and abuse and inequality within this world. So Liberal Party Leader Micheal Ignatieff stated within his unveiling of the “Learning Passport” that no Canadian should be “denied a world class education in the machine room of the Canadian economy” First of all he is referring to Universities and Colleges as “The Machine Room” which in itself is true to a certain extent as education within Canada has effectively become about preparing individuals to be able to perform very specific/specialized tasks so that when they finish University that they are able to walk out into the world and fill a very specific role within the already existent system. Essentially turning individuals into machines to function within the system. He also mentioned that these Universities are the “Machine room of the Canadian Economy”. Now this is quite a startling implication being made within this above statement by Micheal Ignatieff as within this statement has reduced education to being specifically for the “Canadian Economy”. I have a question. What happen to Life? What happen to Self Expression? Or has our entire Learning/Education process of this world become simply to prepare us to make Money within the system. Which is Exactly what is being implied within such statement as mentioned above, and what is even scarier is that this is being spoken of without him even batting an eye, meaning there is no awareness at all within the being what so ever that his/this ‘view’ of reality is not actually in alignment with actual real life in terms of a Life as that which can be considered in any way Dignified. Nope. Rather What is being implied in this statement that no Canadian should be “denied a world class education in the machine room of the Canadian economy” is that in essence all an education has become in this world is a machine room to create perfect money making machines to support the capitalistic system that we have in place. And let us not forget that this is also being considered to be “World Class” education as well. This is why I support what Desteni Propose as an Equal Money System, because the discussion within and around Desteni and the Equal Money System are more in line with looking at how to create and educational system that if fact support the development of the human being as Life Form in where we are essentially ultimately looking at perfection. The perfection of ourselves as an expression of Life. Not fucking limiting education to that which is designed to create the best money making robots as possible. Why are not political discussions and debates around the point of the perfection of self as Life and how to create a dignified world for all. I much rather participate with that which is aware of what life is actually and this is why I am one vote for an equal money system. Obviously this will take time to bring forth and in the end each one decide for themselves what discussions and debates they see as valid. So if you are interested in bringing forth a world that actually consider its fellow man enough to abolish a capitalistic world system based in greed and put into place a system which give to all equally where all within this system are able to live like millionaires and actually be honoured as life then suggest to check out what Desteni is saying and presenting with an Equal Money System. www.equalmoney.org www.desteni.co.za www.destniiprocess.com

Exploring More Options in Finding Work/Jobs/Money

So today I started again with looking for and applying for jobs from the perspective of generating sufficient money to support me in my world, and stop existing on the ‘fringe’ of society by always making ‘just enough’ to get by and pay my rent and basic bills and food. Never getting ahead, not really falling behind, just completely at a stand still in the system. Thus the point for me at the moment is to actually start moving, and generating money to support me in this reality and support the emergence of an equal money system, which is even more of a ‘daunting task’ than just supporting me. So today I started moving this point again, by searching through job listings and also bidding on graphic design and illustration jobs online. I have the “doing snow removal” point in place so will be busy with this until the winter ends, though in the meantime am exploring various possibilities as I am not really just looking for a job in this system in this world to “occupy me” but rather looking for and investigating what I can do to actually place myself eventually within a position to support an equal money system. I have a degree in Fine Arts, but have not yet seen this point being able to work yet in terms of actually supporting me substantially enough to place myself in the system to actually have influence. Though also see the point here of this being due to me not really effectively pushing and compounding this point through deliberate actions, but in a way “giving up quickly” when the point does not move. This has been quite frustrating as for some time now have been “on the fence” with this point of not knowing whether to “do it” or “not do it”, and because of this have in a way disarmed myself by essentially not standing within a consistent application to see if in fact the point will work or not, in a way , seem to give up on this point very quickly. This is why I started moving into the point of graphic design and illustration, and in a way am starting with moving my artistic skills to the “digital world” as I may be able to generate more money within doing this. Though I am only starting with this now so the point slow to move, and I see I experience still much doubt within the belief that comes up that “ everything I do with regards to art simply does not/will not move” So I came across this one add today which I am thinking about applying for as a “Art Gallery Assistant” with one of the commercial galleries here in town. I mean technically my degree supports this point though have no desire to actually participate within the “art world”, though perhaps I could get some experience with selling art and dealing with people with lots of money who pay allot of money for art, So from this perspective this could possibly assist my current skills set with regards to art and sales in general. Though most likely will be doing basic stuff like hang shows and framing art and things like this. I will have to see when I go down and ask about the job. Though at the moment my experience of myself in relation to work and “the future” is more like ‘open’ where nothing is definitive, or certain and am in a way feel like I am just starting out. I would like to go back for more education at some point though this will require me to probably first pay back my student loan which I have not been able to actually “pay down” since I graduated from college 6 years ago. Up until now I have only been making the interest payments. So in terms of my placement in the system – I am a perfect slave – or am supposed to be a perfect slave anyways, though if I look at the point . So just wanted to write about this point of being still busy with finding work and exploring different ways to make money in this world, as I must now come up with nearly twice my usual amount as the insurance on my vehicle will run out in February and so must get money to renew this, so in a way its cool because it will push me to move my ass to actually prove to myself that I am able to make this much money in a month through simply applying myself diligently and specifically in practical application with regards to generating money.