Today was an interesting day. I was at the “Market Collective” which is Arts and Crafts fair in the city I live in. So basically I had a table with drawings for sale. I decided to not sell paintings and drawings at this market and just focus more on selling the drawings, in particular the “Comical Sense” Drawings as I find with these drawings there is actually “something there” which is pretty cool. I Find my past work is ‘empty’ so to speak, and so find working with the “Comical Sense” stuff more fulfilling and enjoyable, as it is no more just “something to look at”. We as Consumer Society has place so much emphasis on the ‘picture’, on “the surface” that this “something to look at” has become that which we focus on. And the goal of the artist has become to make that “something to look at” as cool as possible, placing all of the emphasis on this, where the practical, functional, useful element of art steadily disappears.
I mean even if one look at how we has human beings present ourselves. All of the emphasis is placed on the picture, and we attempt to arrange that picture presentation of ourselves in as many ways as possible attempting to within this find some satisfaction within ourselves.
So much of the emphasis gets placed on the picture that we have forgotten in a way, that there is anything inside.
So in terms of the age old question of is it art that imitates life or life that imitates art, it is simply irrelevant considering that both are in the same boat anyways – stuck on the surface.
I sold one drawing today. Its the first one of the comical sense that I sold, it was titled TOMB-orrow (tomorrow) the guy that bought it like the skeleton imagery.
It was quite a release because I noticed this particular thought construct coming up a few times in the day.
The pattern/construct would start with the thought of first
-Noticing that I had not yet sold a drawing while watching others sell their work
-Then comes like a fear of believing that I have done something really wrong
-Like I have an innate mistake built into the structure of me
- Like a huge gap or something where I am “missing a point” or “understanding” which is why I
have not sold
-Then I experience a feeling/emotion experience of sadness mixed with hopelessness/helplessness
- Then thoughts of my dad come up, like I will end up living out the same pattern he did which is like
ending up as a “starving artist” kind of thing
Its interesting this construct came up a few times during the day, but I was mostly aware when this construct came up so simply did not “go into it”
When I sold the drawing it was like a release in a way of this construct, like
“I am not totally crazy”
Which actually indicate that this particular thought exist inside me before hand, like I thought/believed I was being delusional with “trying to sell art”
This point of “believed delusion” also being linked with the experience of hopelessness. Thinking that I am in fact so delusion and that I am not even able to see it.
I noticed also sometimes, the thought coming up of
“Why do I have to do this”
Here I see this as a kind of attempting or wanting to escape from this whole experience I am going through of selling art in this world, where so much of the time, I want to just quite, even though I do see the point of what I would prefer is if I was actually able to sell the stuff, like if I actually made some consistent money with it then I would actually not want to quite selling art. So its not actually related to the “ACT” of selling art that I am opposed, just to the point of that I have not made any money or sold very effectively over the years.
At the moment, I am pushing the work I make now to be as educational as possible, where one can actually be supported by that work or piece when they see it and it isn’t just something you “put up because its nice”
This way I can actually not feel guilty for selling it to people, because before this point was quite allot – feeling guilty for selling work to people.
I mean what is real value. Value has become so distorted in this world that it has “lost touch” with reality. From my perspective value is not something “made up” but rather based on equality, meaning, you plant one seed, you get one carrot.
And this value is based on the actual physical movement of this reality, like for example the physical movement of a carrot growing into maturity. Value grounded in the earth.
And so art should be “valued this way” where it is grounded in earth so to speak.
Based in the “Equality Equation” that desteni present of 1 + 1 = 2
Our current money system, the very nature of money is based on deception. Where one is attempting to cheat reality, like saying 1+1=7 or 100 or what ever they can convince another it is worth. There is not actual basis for value these days – it is completely based on an idea – which exist in the mind.
This money system is so fucking tempting – Because essentially value is based on what someone will pay for it – not how much it is actually really worth so to speak. So people “buy in” and play the game, attempting to generate income through distorting value through the current money system where say one person might sell something to someone for 1 dollar, than this person turns around and sells it for 100 dollars – This is completely fucking with planet and the actual equilibrium of the physical earth. And showing the value of a product is not actually based on the actual physical value of the substance related to the earth and how this support humanity to live on this earth in equilibrium.
This is one reason why I support a new equal money system – because it will “normalize” everything, so that we actually start Interacting with our planet on a 1+1=2 foundation.
It is interesting I notice this “temptation” of the money system within myself where I see the point of “if I could only get people to buy my art for ‘x’ amount of money, than I wouldn’t have to worry about getting a job or paying my rent or anything like that, because there is this “jackpot” point that exist within this current money system, like if one could only convince another to pay that “jackpot” amount for their product, then they could really get allot of money for very little work. It is such a fuck up, because Im sure there are many out there who would read this and think – “Well what’s wrong with that”
Well fuck – a outflow of this current manifestation of ourselves is millions dying of starvation, wars, murder, I mean how is that “OK” .
We as humanity have begun to “make things” in the hope of hitting that “jackpot” within the system. Because it is possible for everyone of us to actually do. Like the carrot dangling in front of our eyes just out of reach.
We lose sight of the consideration to actually create something that will benefit humanity. Then the products we create, really don’t consider if they are actually of use in this reality at all but more so – can I make money from it. And this is fucking with our evolution as a human race, as an existence.
This is why I Support and Equal Money System as proposed by Desteni –
www.equalmoney.org Because here the principle foundation of our movement in this reality would be How will this benefit humanity, how will this benefit life. I mean what is the actual outflow of the decisions I make and the evolution of humanity. I mean every action we make, every thought we think, has ripple effect, outflow on this existence. Thus the point here is to take into consideration what you actually in do, and what you actually think. And to consider “does this thought or action have the best interest of humanity in mind”
Once this consideration is in place and all beings on this planet have placed this point as the starting point of themselves, of there every thought, word, and deed, then we will be actually evolving as LIFE.
Until then we are simply only considering ourselves and not how we actually influence this world.
We think or believe that “oh it is just my life”
I mean when you die then what – your life is over? – You did the best you could – Do you really understand reality – do you really understand what is going on this planet – this existence – Is this world we have accepted really the end all be all.
Have we considered what it actually means to change.
Or are we too afraid what our friends will say if we actually change.
If we actually consider something so different that it is met with massive resistance.
From my perspective than we at least know we heading in the right direction – because we require a massive change on this earth.
I mean to stop war will take the implantation of a new system, an implantation of new way of being, of living that will be not like what is here now.
Suggest to investigate Desteni and Equal money system for those who are not afraid to actually change.
www.desteni.co.za
www.equalmoney.org
I am continuing with my Art Studio Process Blogs where by I am writing on my experiences and points that come up in relation to my process of working in my Art Studio this month.
So far since being back in a studio for the past 3 days it has been interesting to see different points coming up again that used to be a part of me/my experience in the past as I participated within this whole Art Point and being “The Artist” and playing this entire role. Because that is just it, “The Artist” is actually a kind of Personality that one construct and participate in. A suit that one put on, an ‘idea’ that one “take on” as oneself and live the entire ‘role’ of “The-Artist”. Yet it is not in fact real, Particularly within the context of who one is really existing as, and what really goes on inside self. When one look at what actually goes on inside one’s mind, it is far from the idea one creates about oneself as “The Artist” or any other Personality that one live out. Sex, Money, Competition, winning, Survival, jealousy, do I look good in these clothes... This is who people actually are and no matter what personality you project and act out, We are all the same, Walking Egos only concerned about ourselves, concerned about surviving, Not seeing and not caring about the millions dying around us everyday. Our personality software does not included in its programming anything to do with the people that die daily of starvation...unless you are walking some saviour philanthropist personality - thus these apparent unique personalities we have are really quite delusion when one realize that we are all just concerned with the same Self Interested shit as everyone else and if one is self honest would realize that “greatness” cannot exist within a world where so much Suffering and Abuse gets completely ignored.
“The Artist” is not real. Being/living the Artist is simply another way to separate ourselves from each other trying to become something more, something exalted. I see this as trying to superimpose value onto yourself without actually living self value. It is like a short cut. We take on these personality suits as a way to create a fictional perception of value instead of actually valuing ourselves though honouring life and ourselves in fact by walking/living what is best for all in every moment. If we actually value ourselves we would not require to try and build ourselves up all the time by creating special ideas about ourselves as being some superhero with special abilities.
I even seen this point come up today as I painted and I noticed myself starting to generate this idea about myself and about my art being unique and special...Though when I really stand back, it is just a picture depicting some stuff hanging on a wall, nothing miraculous like is so easily able to be perceived.
This is a point that I trapped myself within previously as I walked the whole art point. I projected “special value” onto art I saw. I remember going to Italy and looking at the Art Works by the Master Artists and I was in search for that magical special ingredient that I believed actually existed and is what made a masterpiece a masterpiece. I had a similar experience to this when I tried out meditation and would sit and close my eyes and trying to relax ....like the spiritual guru who stresses himself out because they really really want to be relaxed and zen like.
Though Humanity is really good in believing in shit that is not there – This may be an indication of how we are able to continue living day in and day out believing that “everything is ok” meanwhile the world and our lives are all falling apart around us.
I have realized that there is no special meaning or value or ingredient that makes a masterpiece. It is literally just pictures on walls which we have attached special value to but that obviously is not special as how can specialness exist in a world where we watch human beings starve to death on the television and then switch to see who’s on the red carpet and seeing the score on the game.
And so the same with the Art that I make. The point is not to create and project some special value onto it that is not really there. That is delusional, that is Ego. Or to, through the Art, by projecting special meaning onto it, create an idea about myself as being unique and special.
I am me. I am who I really am, I am what really goes on inside me. The truth of me, the real me that exist underneath all the beliefs I have about myself. Thus the point is to not create ideas about myself but get to that real stuff of who I am exiting as and work with that. That real shit that we ALL are, no different from one another.
So yes, I noticed this point of me going into this point of projecting special value onto the art I have been making where I perceive it to be something special. Like the singers who go to audition for American Idol or some show like that and they believe that they are good at singing but when they get to the audition, it turns out that they are actually not able sing, (from a technical perspective) yet they themselves believed they were great at singing? At least that is what I was seeing when I would watch some of those auditions – Though in relation to what I am doing with the art – The point is to not project onto the art something that is not there at all, and in this keep it practical and keep it physical. A painting is not going to magically save the world. Unless of course you believe in Ascension and 2012 and being saved by some miracle, then you might still believe in the whole art thing, that “Art” actually really exist, when “Art” is in fact “Ego” as it is just an idea of values and meanings created and projected onto stuff.
www.desteni.org
www.eqafe.com