2012: My Art Studio Process – Day 3 : There is no Secret Ingredient

I am continuing with my Art Studio Process Blogs where by I am writing on my experiences and points that come up in relation to my process of working in my Art Studio this month. So far since being back in a studio for the past 3 days it has been interesting to see different points coming up again that used to be a part of me/my experience in the past as I participated within this whole Art Point and being “The Artist” and playing this entire role. Because that is just it, “The Artist” is actually a kind of Personality that one construct and participate in. A suit that one put on, an ‘idea’ that one “take on” as oneself and live the entire ‘role’ of “The-Artist”. Yet it is not in fact real, Particularly within the context of who one is really existing as, and what really goes on inside self. When one look at what actually goes on inside one’s mind, it is far from the idea one creates about oneself as “The Artist” or any other Personality that one live out. Sex, Money, Competition, winning, Survival, jealousy, do I look good in these clothes... This is who people actually are and no matter what personality you project and act out, We are all the same, Walking Egos only concerned about ourselves, concerned about surviving, Not seeing and not caring about the millions dying around us everyday. Our personality software does not included in its programming anything to do with the people that die daily of starvation...unless you are walking some saviour philanthropist personality -  thus these apparent unique personalities we have are really quite delusion when one realize that we are all just concerned with the same Self Interested shit as everyone else and if one is self honest would realize that “greatness” cannot exist within a world where so much Suffering and Abuse gets completely ignored. “The Artist” is not real. Being/living the Artist is simply another way to separate ourselves from each other trying to become something more, something exalted. I see this as trying to superimpose value onto yourself without actually living self value. It is like a short cut. We take on these personality suits as a way to create a fictional perception of value instead of actually valuing ourselves though honouring life and ourselves in fact by walking/living what is best for all in every moment. If we actually value ourselves we would not require to try and build ourselves up all the time by creating special ideas about ourselves as being some superhero with special abilities. I even seen this point come up today as I painted and I noticed myself starting to generate this idea about myself and about my art being unique and special...Though when I really stand back, it is just a picture depicting some stuff hanging on a wall, nothing miraculous like is so easily able to be perceived. This is a point that I trapped myself within previously as I walked the whole art point. I projected “special value” onto art I saw. I remember going to Italy and looking at the Art Works by the Master Artists and I was in search for that magical special ingredient that I believed actually existed and is what made a masterpiece a masterpiece. I had a similar experience to this when I tried out meditation and would sit and close my eyes and trying to relax ....like the spiritual guru who stresses himself out because they really really want to be relaxed and zen like. Though Humanity is really good in believing in shit that is not there – This may be an indication of how we are able to continue living day in and day out believing that “everything is ok” meanwhile the world and our lives are all falling apart around us.   I have realized that  there is no special meaning or value or ingredient that makes a masterpiece. It is literally just pictures on walls which we have attached special value to but that obviously is not special as how can specialness exist in a world where we watch human beings starve to death on the television and then switch to see who’s on the red carpet and seeing the score on the game. And so the same with the Art that I make. The point is not to create and project some special value onto it that is not really there. That is delusional, that is Ego. Or to, through the Art, by projecting special meaning onto it, create an idea about myself as being unique and special. I am me. I am who I really am, I am what really goes on inside me. The truth of me, the real me that exist underneath all the beliefs I have about myself. Thus the point is to not create ideas about myself but get to that real stuff of who I am exiting as and work with that. That real shit that we ALL are, no different from one another.   So yes, I noticed this point of me going into this point of projecting special value onto the art I have been making where I perceive it to be something special. Like the singers who go to audition for American Idol or some show like that and they believe that they are good at singing but when they get to the audition, it turns out that they are actually not able sing, (from a technical perspective) yet they themselves believed they were great at singing? At least that is what I was seeing when I would watch some of those auditions – Though in relation to what I am doing with the art – The point is to not project onto the art something that is not there at all, and in this keep it practical and keep it physical. A painting is not going to magically save the world. Unless of course you believe in Ascension and 2012 and being saved by some miracle, then you might still believe in the whole art thing, that “Art” actually really exist, when “Art” is in fact “Ego” as it is just an idea of values and meanings created and projected onto stuff. www.desteni.org www.eqafe.com

2012: My Art Studio Process – Day 2

  So I went again to my Studio to work on some paintings. To recap; I arranged to rent/share a studio space with a friend of mine so that I could make some paintings for an Art Fair coming up in 15 days. Yesterday was my first day in the studio and I basically did allot of prep work and getting everything set up and ready to paint. So today I went back again to continue working. I have a few ‘ideas’ that I’d like to get done before the Art Fair but I will just have to take it one day at a time. Since I found out that I would have a studio I started keeping track of the ideas that come by placing them in my sketch book. I have never really done this before. It is quite cool to be moving this point again. It has been soooooooo long. One main difference this time around is related to my participation with the Desteni Process. So my ‘approach’ is different. Last time I had a studio and was making paintings I was completely trapped in the ego and competition and for that matter, actually believed in the Idea of ‘Art’ – lol. Art is just an idea, meaning – It is not real. Yes pictures and paintings and sculptures are real. It is the specialness and uniqueness and value that we project onto them that is not real. In art school everyone was trying to be “the next big thing” For me it was about chasing and pursuing the point of painting a masterpiece, though I had completely externalized and separated this point from myself and believed that to do such a thing would require some miraculous magical ascension of sorts – I was chasing after that magical point. Trying to find it, searching relentlessly for it, believing that there was some kind of Key that would unlock everything, (Kind of like how Politicians Promote themselves as being the ones to come a fix everything) . It was like I was racing after the treasure, wanting to get to it first. For me this treasure was this idea that I could paint a masterpiece and that to do this I would have exalted myself beyond the mear abilities of man and somehow transformed myself into something godly and superior and that my life and my experience of myself would forever be happy and wonderful and meaningful. So it has been cool to have the opportunity to do some painting again. It is much more stable when I am not in a panic to become something. Or chase down and find that magic solution that will fix everything. Thus I see here the point with my Art is the same with my process with myself in that it simply requires consistent application and attention and thus will develop, equal and one to this. In my past with Art I was trying to become something great, This time around the point is Equality. To simply assist and support myself in All ways possible to walk my process of transforming myself from a walking Ego only interested in Myself into a being that honour and respect life and stand Equal and One to all that is Here as Life. It is not about being “better than”. It is about utilizing the tool of Art to support myself within my process of equalizing myself. And this is actually a cool point that I am seeing as I begin with this process of making paintings again. The point of how I can in fact use Art to assist and support myself with my process of Self Transformation. One point that is quite clear at this stage is that my Art is always a reflection of Me. Thus it isn’t really about the Art per se, meaning, I cannot just try to make a ‘better’ painting. Before it was all about making the greatest painting, but I did not understand what this actually entailed. I did not understand the process of Self Correction or what I have learned within walking with desteni the past years. I see now that the point is always self, meaning, I am not really working on paintings per-se, I am working on myself, and the painting is simply a reflection of who I am. Thus the point is to support self to stop the ego, and actually get to know and become aware of myself actually. And so push this point of “becoming real” so to speak.  

Exposing Deception Within the Words We Speak – “The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”

“The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”   I am going to have a look at the above quote and open up some aspects of deception and manipulation contained within it. It is quite interesting to see how so much deception and also abuse can exist in the words we speak, particularly in “what is being implied” in what we are saying.   So the first point I noticed is the complete abdication of responsibility of Self As Creator. This phrase is initially separated into 2 distinct sections.  
  1. “The more I appreciate and show gratitude”
  2. “the more the Universe showers on me”
  Ok so what I see is that “the person”(who would speak/believe such a phrase) is essentially separating themselves from the universe, And placing the Universe in the position of God or some unseen, almighty, all powerful entity that is watching over us. Lol – Kind of like ones Parents do. Where if you are a good boy or girl as perceived through the eyes of the Parent (or Universe) then you get a reward.   What I find a common misconception with the point of Karma is that there is often a separation of cause and affect. Where many place Karma within the realms of Judgment, where that Judgment could possibly be anything, that that judgment is more “an interpretation” of the Judge like for instance, maybe you catch “God” on a good day and he lets you off easy.   The point not being taken into consideration is Self Responsibility Where in one take full absolute responsibility for themselves, their actions, and the consequences there of. And not abdicating this responsibility to some god, or the universe or anything other than self. This also implies a self accepted point of limitation because if one is not standing responsible for their actions and has no understanding of how their actions influence, affect, unfold, play-out into this world then they essentially have no creative principle as themselves within their world, where in if one were to Stand within Self Responsibility and Direct Self then one is able to Direct Self in ones moment to moment, day to day living application to ensure that what is created out of their expression is that which would cause no harm to another or themselves but rather play-out in a way that is Best for ALL, that takes into consideration all life equally and is directed towards the expansion of life in a supportive, dignified way, where we actually create a world where we do not have to exist in fear of one another. So in essence this statement suggests that the author has not yet taken Self Responsibility and began the process of discovery into how they are actually creating themselves and this world within and as every breath as every moment of their existence. Like a Driver of a vehicle that will push down on the acceleration but refuse to steer the wheel.   This point should actually be common knowledge and a point of education in the early development of children so we cultivate beings who are Truly bringing forth an expression of Life. So that All beings are equal participants and creators of/in what is here. taking into consideration every tiny iota of oneself and how ones expression in all aspects/faucets/nuances creates what is here.   getting back to the quote though…   “The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”   You  can see that the person is still existing as a Self accepted slave to the universe waiting for the Universe to deliver them with all that they want. As long as one is existing in separation instead of standing within and as Self Responsibility as Creator of Self and Self’s experience and world, one will always Exist in a state of hope, of waiting, of darkness actually because they never really know or or find out how “it all works” It would be much easier to simply “grab the wheel” and give yourself some Direction. No longer “waiting” for this to be, maybe, done for you that is if you show enough gratitude. No more waiting for the Universe to Decide your Fate. But rather taking this point into ones own hands and directing self in every moment to create for self a world that is supportive to self and others.   Another massive point of Deception in this statement is the author is not taking the practical side of reality into consideration nor looking at how this world actually “showers” abundance on individuals.   So A point I want to look at Here is the point of “The System”:, and the point of Creating Systems as a reflection of ourselves. Systems as that which is that which is actually manifesting the “good life” for some, and poverty and starvation and suffering for others. Because the point here is that the author of such a statement is definitely wanting the universe to shower some kind of abundance upon them but is not seeing how abundance is actually delivered in this world, and that the Universe does not deliver abundance, rather, it is the System(s) that we have created that does this. Particularly the Money Mystem.   For instance I could “pray” for money or show much much gratitude and hope the Universe delivers me the goods. Or I could simply play by the rules of the system, where in getting myself an education, and then high paying job to earn an effective income to then utilize the functionality of the system to produce abundance so to speak.   Also Gratefulness has really got nothing to do with it. This can be seen by the fact that those who really “have it all”, who really can do what ever they want and live a life that so many others can only  hope and dream about, are the ones who are simply at the top of the Money System and this does not mean that they show the most gratitude for life. Thus it is Money, not Gratitude that is actually the point which bring a life of abundance in terms of how this world is currently functioning. And furthermore  Money has got nothing to do with gratefulness as those who are really rich and living the life are in fact completely more likely to be completely ignorant of Life in fact, otherwise they would be directing themselves and their money towards a solution for all and supporting all beings equally where in this is NOT at all the case but rather they are just simply continuing to live the dream in deliberate ignorance of the millions upon millions of starving dying beings in this world, or those dying in unnecessary wars and acts of violence and abuse  and all the other wonderful outflows of our current system making possible an abundant lifestyle for those at the top, Lifestyles  that are NOT an indication/reflection of gratitude at all, but in most cases must actually deliberately abuse and harm life so that they are able to remain in their position of wealth and abudance. This, indicating to me rather a complete disregard for life.   Thus perhaps this statement should be revised a bit     “The more I deceive, disregard life, and place myself above all others, the more the Universe as the current  Money System showers on me.”   There that’s more realistic.   So basically the point being missed here in this original quote is that if one look practically how we have organized ourselves within this world, we have in fact done so through and as a system. And it is through this system that goods and resources and ultimately ones life is “delivered”. And that Money is the Keystone to this System, which one does not get by “being grateful” But rather by knowing how the rules of money work and thus applying those rules and generating money.   That is why we as Desteni are presenting an Equal Money System. An Equal Money System as an actual living expression of Gratefulness. Because at the moment I see a lack of gratefulness in this world, an immense lack of gratefulness indicated and reflected by and through the System we have put in place to manage ourselves on this planet within our lives. A system that as I have illustrated is not actually aligned with Gratefulness at all, but more with Greed, Ego, and disregard of Life.   Thus from my perspective a living application of Gratefulness is to Direct ones moment to moment daily living in such a way where ones actions and expression go into the correction of ourselves as the correction of the current system we have placed as our creation at the moment, that which is essentially providing for us “our lives” and so to  bring forth as our creation a  New System based on Equality, and Best for ALL which takes ALL life equally into consideration and does not have as part of its functionality such atrocious outflows such as war, as starvation, mass poverty, animal abuse as well as to “shower” money and riches  on those who in fact disregard life to the extreme.   Ooops. We really messed this current system up. Thus we correct ourselves and place a New System, a more effective system, a system based on the principle of “best for all” and “Equaliy and Oneness”   Thus investigate The Equal Money System as a Corrective System to replace the current capitalistic system.   www.equalmoney.org