Being a Fully Functional Member of the System (Standing Equal to the System)
This was a point that I took on doing when I entered back into the system around a year and half ago now. This point was not always totally clear in terms of what or how I would be doing this, but has clarified over the last year as a Directive Point that I have taken on. To Stand Equal to the system where I work and function as a member of the system, playing by the system rules, and using the tools of the system to become effective and successful in the system. So I required to do a few things as I had previously in my life wanted to do anything but stand equal to the system. I never did my taxes or cared about credit, or cared to get a job, or become an upstanding citizen so to speak. I see that I must do this, that I must “become” the system so to speak by standing equal to and as it, and becoming effective within it.
This is something that actually goes against my initial pre-programming seeing as how I was raised in a more “creative” family system that did not use money as motivation or a marker for success per-se but more focused on creativity / art as that which was given allot of attention. In this money or system savvy was simply not a part of our family really. Though some of my uncles and were business men so I observed this point in the peripheral of my family structure but was never a point that penetrated to much into/through the walls of our primary family unit…
One of the main aspects of my life/approach/starting point which I required to adjust for myself to become more aligned with how the system actually function is what I placed as my “priorities” Because for a long time I placed Art and Creativity and Personal Enjoyment very high on that list, and making money and working in the system as secondary. I have though re-established my starting point to where “making money” and working in the system where in I ensure always that I have a basic income stream always coming in, is now my priority. This is much more “Practical” in terms of actually supporting me in the context of this world and what I am here doing.
My previous approach was simply not practical at all, and because of this I always struggled to meet my basic survival needs and was always living on the fringe of society. In essence that is what Art Schools do. They prepare the individuals who are going to live on the fringe of the system. What a fuck up.
So that was quite a Key Adjustment I required to make and I must say it makes everything much simpler. Art in my life is now a secondary point as something to explore expand only after I have established in my world my foundational income stream as support to live and function within the system.
I am getting there but still I have work to do in terms of actually getting caught up on my loans and start building up my credit so I can actually get a credit card! – lol.
I am kind of just “going over” a few points here as basic background to how I have been living and assisting and supporting myself to get this point sorted out for myself so that I am not “stepping on my own feet” in my process to assist and support the bringing forth of an Equal Money System.
This is in essence my Top Priority. This is my total dedication of myself because there is no point to support such a system as the one we are currently living in due to its cruel and abusive nature and what kind of world our current system is sustaining/creating. Thus the only reason I am directing myself to become equal to the system, to become a fully functioning member of the system is so that I can be stable and in a position to actually assist and support the bringing forth of an Equal Money System. A New System that actually support life. Thus this requires food to eat, internet connection, place to live etc, so I can do the basic responsibilities which are required to bring forth an Equal Money System.
So Yes, Art simply is “not important” to me at the moment in terms of how I used to give it such importance. Of course I still enjoy exploring this point but It no longer has control over me the way it used to. Though this definitely took some years of (4) of walking out of this possession I created of “wanting to be an artist”
So I rather look at things more practically. Art may be able to generate an income, but it is not as practical as sticking to something initially that is more consistent and aligned with how the system function. Thus I have directed myself to do more practical labour jobs, as this is a point that I have had some training in. Actually I remember the words of Bernard mentioning to me before I left the farm that I can “always fall back on my hands” (or something like that) meaning to utilize “my two hands” and do practical labour as something I can use to support me if other things do not work out. So in a way I actually went straight to this point. Looking at what practical services I can do, and how I can use “my two hands” to effectively support myself in this world. I enjoy working with my Hands, like doing practical things. And many people try and get away from doing this, so it opens up space for people who are willing to do this to generate money for themselves.
So I focused on this aspect when looking at what kind of work I could do in the system to start supporting myself effectively.
One other little point that supported me in my process of standing on my own 2 feet and working with my own 2 hands – lol was : Don’t do what you want to do, Do what must be done. This point has assisted me in expanding myself in terms of what I am willing to do to support myself. Even 5 years ago I would have refused and resisted to do almost anything that was not related to art and my own personal desires. I had really really limited myself in this but I did not know any better. I did not see nor understand the “greater context” of this world so to speak.
So obviously my understanding/perspective has change allot over the past 4 years participating with Desteni. And thus so much of who I was and what I was willing to was simply based in Ego which a point I am assisting and supporting myself to stop within myself.
What Kind of Human Being am I, that would look at / see this world and all that is happening and simply ignore it and refuse to assist in sorting it out. Its like standing face to face with a starving child and saying “sorry, Id rather paint a picture, and satisfy my own aspirations and desires that make sure you at least have an equal amount of food and support as I do” This obviously being Ego, and ignorance particularly in relation to the fact that I was simply born into my life of having food and money. I could have easily been the one born into poverty – Anyways “my priorities” where quite delusional and fucked up to say the least.
So I have now just worked the Last 6 months at a full time job doing Landscaping. This job is now winding down as winter is just around the corner and you cannot do landscaping in the winter. So I am preparing now to move into doing Snow Removal for the winter season which is a point I did last year as well.
A point that I would have not considered doing if I had continued to just allow myself to “Do what I want to do” instead of “doing what must be done”
I started doing snow removal last year which was quite a cool experience. I did not have a job and in a way this was a situation where I was “falling back on my own two hands” so to speak, because I was willing to work, and thus saw an opportunity to apply myself doing snow removal and generate some money for myself through the winter months. I had allot of fears about doing it, and that it wouldn’t work and I would fail and all that stuff. But I did it anyways, and realized in the end that these fears were not real, even though they seemed very real. I ended up doing it for the entire winter season and managing to get myself through the winter.
This year I am little more prepared so will be interesting to see how it goes. I see I have these same fears as last year coming up inside me, though my experience with walking through these fears last year is supporting me this time around to just breathe and continue to direct and apply myself within the point.
My expenses has gone up also so my goal this year is to double the amount of money I made last year doing this. I have just got my business cards and advertisements from the printers a couple days ago, and will head out (I think next week) to focus on some neighbourhoods around where I live to see if I can get my clients more in one area this year.
I am much more stable this year at this stage than I was last year. I see that that is because I actually did apply myself and find work, so that I have something to build off of, and already established to support me so to speak. This process has not been a breeze or magic or happening really fast either. It has taken time. My approach has been more basic and fundamental in terms of supporting me to establish a stable base income for myself. But I am grateful that I have placed attention on doing this and not leaving this as a secondary point. It has assisted me in stabilizing myself much more in my world.
www.equalmoneysystem.org
www.desteni.co.za
www.desteniiprocess.com
I am continuing with my Art Studio Process Blogs where by I am writing on my experiences and points that come up in relation to my process of working in my Art Studio this month.
So far since being back in a studio for the past 3 days it has been interesting to see different points coming up again that used to be a part of me/my experience in the past as I participated within this whole Art Point and being “The Artist” and playing this entire role. Because that is just it, “The Artist” is actually a kind of Personality that one construct and participate in. A suit that one put on, an ‘idea’ that one “take on” as oneself and live the entire ‘role’ of “The-Artist”. Yet it is not in fact real, Particularly within the context of who one is really existing as, and what really goes on inside self. When one look at what actually goes on inside one’s mind, it is far from the idea one creates about oneself as “The Artist” or any other Personality that one live out. Sex, Money, Competition, winning, Survival, jealousy, do I look good in these clothes... This is who people actually are and no matter what personality you project and act out, We are all the same, Walking Egos only concerned about ourselves, concerned about surviving, Not seeing and not caring about the millions dying around us everyday. Our personality software does not included in its programming anything to do with the people that die daily of starvation...unless you are walking some saviour philanthropist personality - thus these apparent unique personalities we have are really quite delusion when one realize that we are all just concerned with the same Self Interested shit as everyone else and if one is self honest would realize that “greatness” cannot exist within a world where so much Suffering and Abuse gets completely ignored.
“The Artist” is not real. Being/living the Artist is simply another way to separate ourselves from each other trying to become something more, something exalted. I see this as trying to superimpose value onto yourself without actually living self value. It is like a short cut. We take on these personality suits as a way to create a fictional perception of value instead of actually valuing ourselves though honouring life and ourselves in fact by walking/living what is best for all in every moment. If we actually value ourselves we would not require to try and build ourselves up all the time by creating special ideas about ourselves as being some superhero with special abilities.
I even seen this point come up today as I painted and I noticed myself starting to generate this idea about myself and about my art being unique and special...Though when I really stand back, it is just a picture depicting some stuff hanging on a wall, nothing miraculous like is so easily able to be perceived.
This is a point that I trapped myself within previously as I walked the whole art point. I projected “special value” onto art I saw. I remember going to Italy and looking at the Art Works by the Master Artists and I was in search for that magical special ingredient that I believed actually existed and is what made a masterpiece a masterpiece. I had a similar experience to this when I tried out meditation and would sit and close my eyes and trying to relax ....like the spiritual guru who stresses himself out because they really really want to be relaxed and zen like.
Though Humanity is really good in believing in shit that is not there – This may be an indication of how we are able to continue living day in and day out believing that “everything is ok” meanwhile the world and our lives are all falling apart around us.
I have realized that there is no special meaning or value or ingredient that makes a masterpiece. It is literally just pictures on walls which we have attached special value to but that obviously is not special as how can specialness exist in a world where we watch human beings starve to death on the television and then switch to see who’s on the red carpet and seeing the score on the game.
And so the same with the Art that I make. The point is not to create and project some special value onto it that is not really there. That is delusional, that is Ego. Or to, through the Art, by projecting special meaning onto it, create an idea about myself as being unique and special.
I am me. I am who I really am, I am what really goes on inside me. The truth of me, the real me that exist underneath all the beliefs I have about myself. Thus the point is to not create ideas about myself but get to that real stuff of who I am exiting as and work with that. That real shit that we ALL are, no different from one another.
So yes, I noticed this point of me going into this point of projecting special value onto the art I have been making where I perceive it to be something special. Like the singers who go to audition for American Idol or some show like that and they believe that they are good at singing but when they get to the audition, it turns out that they are actually not able sing, (from a technical perspective) yet they themselves believed they were great at singing? At least that is what I was seeing when I would watch some of those auditions – Though in relation to what I am doing with the art – The point is to not project onto the art something that is not there at all, and in this keep it practical and keep it physical. A painting is not going to magically save the world. Unless of course you believe in Ascension and 2012 and being saved by some miracle, then you might still believe in the whole art thing, that “Art” actually really exist, when “Art” is in fact “Ego” as it is just an idea of values and meanings created and projected onto stuff.
www.desteni.org
www.eqafe.com