2012: Art Studio Process – Taking Responsibility For my Day Moment by Moment

Since the weather has been getting nicer here this last week. For the last 2 days I have been going out behind my studio to the river side and park area and making some landscape paintings. This process is effective at gathering information and understanding as well as reference I can use later in my studio. It is also just a cool process in itself to simply take my easel and supplies outside and make paintings directly from the landscape. I haven’t done this in a while so I had to get warmed up again.

I have found it to be quite interesting to be applying myself in making artwork again, particularly in relation to what I have been walking the last few years with Desteni and basically having now a different approach to how to direct myself within this reality. This approach for instance being developed within, through my participation with desteni and walking the DIP courses and overall aligning myself with the point of taking responsibility for myself instead of my approach to life, which before desteni was really just wandering around in the dark in allot of ways.

I have found doing these landscape paintings the last couple of days to be quite stabilizing for my art practice. Initially when I got into the studio I just jumped right in and started painting and what I am realizing and seeing now is that my approach was more based on trying to skip or take a short cut in a way instead of walking the process from the beginning, step by step in a practical way. I in essence wanted to just start in the middle or at the end and what ended up happening is that I crashed.

What I like about the doing the landscape paintings over the last couple days is that I am able to see the step by step progression that I am walking, instead of skipping the whole development stage and trying to get right to the end which is what I actually initially started doing when I got into the studio. Because of this I ended up with a big massive painting that was too big and I experienced myself as quite lost within it allot of the time and the stability was not coming through in myself or in the painting. I experienced myself as falling the entire time and not really able to grasp onto something solid. So now I have put this aside and getting back to basics – lol

Since approaching making art this time around I am seeing all these holes in my process where before I just saw this as normal and from a certain perspective did not even notice. So now I am seeing all these holes in my entire art making process which are simply not acceptable because why would I allow such points as all that it manifest is limitation and instability. So now I am busy with making sure each point actually connect to each other to form a Whole instead of some points just hanging there and not connecting to anything. This will ensure that I don’t end up painting/walking along and suddenly find myself standing at a gaping crevasse with no idea how to get to the other side. It is interesting that I allowed these points to exist before. Thus I am now busy with making sure each point is connected effectively and there is no more gaps or points that lead to nowhere. .

So with these landscapes that I have doing the last couple days there is an aspect of stability that is coming through with them which is cool. One aspect of this is that I can see the progression of them. I have decided not to rush them either. I am starting with quite a small scale and just working with this small scale until I am directing every aspect and part of the painting on a small scale. Once I can do this with some consistency it will be more natural for me to move to a bit larger scale. So in essence taking a more practical approach to getting my painting process moving in the right direction and on a secure foundation!

When I first started with these smaller paintings I had to kind of “feel it out” and was getting to know how to do this kind of painting again. I had a basic foundation which was cool so started from there. Slowly but surely with each passing painting I could see how my movements within the painting was becoming more directed. I see/realize the point is to make sure that every single moment/brushstroke is 100 percent directed and to not allow any “I don’t know” brush strokes or “I am not sure” brushstrokes.

Because this implies that I am not directing myself within understanding but allowing the mind to interpret what I am seeing instead of seeing conclusively and deliberately placing what I see on the canvas. So this has been quite interesting because as I have moved along, my direction in each successive painting has been getting more specific and more directed and I have been able to actually see how each brush stroke connects with the next.

This is also quite a fascinating point within the context of process because this is how one live there lives daily where ones day is essentially made up of multiple moments all stringing together to “create your day” each moment has a relationship with the next moment.

So from this perspective I see/realize how I am able to practically apply my “experience” within painting to my life so to speak and vice versa.

The point is to not accept and allow any moments to just go unattended to or undirected or unseen, because in the end you have an entire day and if you basically left some moments during that day “unattended to” than that means that they still form a relationship with the other moments around it and are a part of your total accumulated day.

So for me it is to direct myself to take responsibility for every single moment during my day.and likewise with every brush stroke of my painting

In the paintings the moments or brush strokes I did not take responsibility for ended up turning out as a glitch and it kind of fuck with the painting, like for instance “hey that’s a cool painting of a tree…but whats that weird mark in the corner?”

So my direction is to push for clarity within each moment. “Why am I making such a decision” for instance in each moment. “How does this related and connect to the other moments and in relationship what is this forming and creating?”

Within my life, the painting I am forming as the relationships I am directing myself to create/connect is the painting of what is best for all.

Within this I am first getting to know myself and how I function. Here I am also supporting myself to make sure it is ME that is making my decisions where in I am seeing in every moment WHY and I am directing myself the particular way I am and how this will related to  the other moments in forming what I am directing myself create which is ultimately a world that is Best for ALL.

Initially I am working with myself so that I can start to see why and how I make the decisions I make and to ensure that each and every decision I make is specific and towards the outcome of supporting myself to get to know myself effectively and creating a world that is best for all.

So it is to refine my movement within my day and make sure I am HERE in every moment, and am Accountable for every moment, exploring, and learning how to direct myself practically in a way that is best for all. In a way that the moments forming relationships with each other will accumulate what is best for all.

This for instance I can take back to my world practically where in I ensure my phyical actions and decisions provide me with practical support necessary within the context of the system to ensure I am stable in my world and able to continue with supporting myself within the DIP courses and what we are busy with with desteni.

Or making sure that my actions/moments will lead to an outcome where I will end up with having a stable income. Or for instance ensuring that I am directing myself to write effectively as a tool to utilize to get to know myself and seeing more specifically what is actually going on inside me and what really goes on “behind the scenes” in my mind as I “make decisions” and live my life.

So this has been cool the last couple days doing these paintings outside and seeing this point about taking responsibility for every single moment/brushstroke where I make sure that I am placing each brush stroke deliberately that will have the accumulated affect of forming the picture before me that I am painting.

So each day I walk is like a painting and thus I realize that the point is take responsibility for each moment of my day so that I am in fact Directing my day and directing myself instead of just randomly living.

One tiny painting about 3 by 5 inches I am finding has hundreds of moments/decisions/brushstrokes. This shows the degree of detail and specificity that is actually available for one to really start directing themselves every moment. So its like really breaking down how many moments exist in ones day and making sure each moment is accounted for.

Thus the same with my day. To direct myself to take responsibility for every moment and ensure that everything I am doing has a purpose. Each moment is a specific decision or actions or direction of myself to ensure I am creating a world that is best for all.

Otherwise we just end up with a world that is a mess and total chaos. A world that might pass as a nice picture but there is still so many points that have been left unattended that went “under the radar” so to speak, instead of us directing every single aspect of everything that is here to make sure all points and all parts have been taken responsibility for.

One final point is that what I see in the paintings is that it is in fact a progression – I did not get it perfect the first time and so thus to not expect this with my life either, but likewise taking it day by day and just keep practicing keep pushing and keep directing myself to become more clear and more specific within moving myself within my day.

One final clarification I want to place here is with regards to the actual Direction of my Direction so to speak.  I have made a decision to walk “what is best for all” where this  principle of “what is best for all” is the foundation of my Direction.

I have decided to take responsibility for myself which imply that I must actually understand how I am actually created my world and creating what is here within this world.

I realized this is necessary because of what we are currently accepting and allowing to exist in this world which is at it’s root based on really not giving a fuck about this world or about each other at all but instead just fighting amongst ourselves in competition and greed until eventually we completely destroy ourselves if we haven’t already done this.

Hence making a decision to walk a process of self correction and re-aligning myself to actual LIFE within a point of actually Honouring what is here as Life and put an end to the abuse and suffering that we are all currently creating as Life..

For more perspective on the process of standing up and taking responsibility for yourself visit

desteni.org

For information on the in’s and out’s of what an equal money system is and how such a system can be implemented in this world to support all beings on earth visit

equalmoney.org

To get started with the Desteni I Process to assist and support you to walk the process of taking responsibility for yourself visit

www.desteniiprocess.com

 

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